Published September 5, 2011
I remember the first ever time we met
late into a rainy, British summer
We clicked instantly and in a second
life fell into place
And fates plan was set
Now I dont usually kiss a stranger
but with you there was no time to waste
In just over a month you'd be leaving
So I promised myself you were meaningless, summer fun
this way there was no danger
Destiny had other plans, however
meaningless? you became my rock
And as lust blossemed into something stronger, darker
I didn't want to keep you for the summer
I wanted you as mine, forever
We talked about how we felt
how we could deal with a year or two apart
'have you ever been in love?'
'No, but I came close it it with you'
pulling me close, I memorized everything
right done to how your aftershave smelt
And when the time came to say goodbye
I couldn't lie, I was going to miss you
wanted to plead with you to stay
I know it would have been immature pointless
so i smiled bravely
trying not to cry
Almost a year til we meet again
you told me not to wait
its not what I intend to do
I hope you know, however
as soon as you walk back into my life
I'll drop everything for you
so we can love once again
in the summer rain
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138,424 Literary Works • 672,118 Reviews
Absolutely great! The fact that the story had its beggining in Britain reassures the romance. The way you write really makes us feel in love with your craracter too. And the subject is perfect beccause everyone has passed through it.
Congratulations!
Great expressions, great word, great story.
That is quite an emotional piece. I felt everything the speaker was feeling. Two minor suggestions though: use punctuation so the flow of the poem is more fluid and; you might want edit some tiny mistakes like
and put and or a comma between .Hi there!
This is a really good poem, I enjoyed reading it! I like the way you told us a story and you were still able to keep it poetic. You put good emotion into this and you really made me feel the narrator's love towards this person. Good job!
One little nitpick:
The underlined words sound confusing next to each other like that. You should probably put some kind of punctuation between them so you are seperating the word 'immature' from the word 'pointless'.
Overall this is a good poem. Keep writing!