The Glare
You glare at me
I glare back
You turn on your heels
Glare, still deep in your eyes
But I know, you are deep in thought
Every time we pass, in the hall way or our bedroom
The looks are filled with more despise and hatred
We both know, its time for one of us to die
And soon
But it won't be me
I run and snatch the sharpest knife
And notice, you have one too
I drive the knife through your heart
But causing my own death
Death, by my own reflection
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Hey, welcome to YWS!!!! Just some tips because you are kind of new.
1. For every post you must do two reviews. You probably haven't gotten any responses to this because you haven't done any reviews yourself.
2. You might want to make a topic in the Welcome forum. Then loads of people will tell you all the rules, etc...
Okay. Onto the review!
with
But it won't be me
That's all the nitpicks.
A couple of things:
1. You might want to add punctuation. It might help a lot.
2. Your fluencey. You should work on this. Maybe set up a syllable pattern or something. (Unless this is a free verse)
Is this you? Or someone else? You should stick with only posting your own work on this site.
Hope this helps! PM me if you need anything, or have any questions on my review.
~Storm