Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
This almost changes the direction of the poem without feeling abrupt, or forced, or misaligned. It's satisfying and creates a sense of subtlety in the poem while also displaying a clear distinction of that shift. The lines following line 8 go back to enjambment and follow a new direction of direct narration rather than reflection and outpour. Lines 11 and 12 both including end punctuation really beings the poem to a close as the punctuation acts as such a direct end to what is being said. This poem ends, and that's it. Nothing more needs to be said because the momentum of the enjambment and the flow of words have led to this moment. So really well done!Hey Chem! Even though this poem already has 2 reviews, I really wanted to review one of your works this Review Month! I'm excited to share my thoughts and praises for your poem fake it till you make it so let's get started!
Wow, I love this poem!
First, I want to highlight the structure of this poem. Throughout this poem there is a lot of enjambment, which not only creates a sense of voice and flow in this poem, but set the poem up for line 8, where it all shifts. The enjambment makes the lines sound urgent while reading them, building tension and creating a rhythm that works wonderfully while reading it. Yet line 8, there is a shift in tone shown through that ending punctuation in
Next, I want to show admiration for the language and meaning of this poem. Without reading the description of the poem, it is clear what this poem is about. It's important for poetry to be able to stand on it's own, and this one does that. There is no question to the emotional impact that reels both reader, and "subject" deeper in. This poem is a deep reflection on eating disorders, intrusive thoughts, and the effect it has on not only the narrator, but to the people around them. Furthermore, this poem is a self-reflection, and expresses a hyper-awareness of their actions and words. is such an incredible line that studies and reflects on how one can almost feel trapped and unable to express their thoughts/feelings without it becoming a problem for someone else. It displays a sense of selflessness yet struggle.
The repetition of the phrase "stop it" (as first introduced in the first line with ending punctuation) brings the reader into the mind of this narrative. It's something deeply personal, yet something deeply relatable. It's raw and heartbreaking, these thoughts they want to stop. I take note of this because that repetition not only emphasizes this need for control over the intrusive thoughts, but acts as the main switch from "regular" thoughts to intrusive. It really brings the reader close to the narrator and we feel a strong sense of sympathy for what this person is thinking and going through.
You have a beautiful use of diction, syntax, and rhythm in this poem that does not disrupt the meaning and emotions behind the words one bit. This feels like such a personal piece of work and I appreciate being able to read it and study it. I really enjoy reading your poems and would love to see more! Keep writing and God bless.
Though short, this poem was deep and emotional, getting straight to the point. As a reader it really pinned me down and forced me to listen. I like the different layers of this poem as I can interpret it in different ways. When you said "pretend that swallowing your words...." it suggested to me that the writer's words were the only things that they could swallow, that they could consume. When you said "pretend to love ever inch of your body" that really hit home, because of how relatable it was. Even if you don't love yourself or your body, how it looks, how you feel in it, you are forced to love it. You can't publicly talk down on yourself or bad about yourself even if it is how you feel. This poem didn't hide. Good job!
I love this. It is so raw and real. intrusive thoughts are such a hard thing to deal with, trying to push the thoughts away with reassurance that nobody is going to let anything happen or let you leave is amazing.
"Pretend to love every inch of your body so your cousin doesn't go on another diet." this does really connect to your title of faking it till you make it. Putting on a mask/act to keep others safe and from worrying is unfortunately something that feels necessary because honestly sometimes it can be.
"Pretend swallowing your words isn't better then saying them." I feel as if this is saying that you are telling yourself that it is better to speak up and reach for help because it is but it feels better to not say anything. and its back to the overall theme of pretending. good job on keeping the poem connected to the overall poem. Keep writing.