Life is a notebook.
It can be like the edge,
You sometimes meet people in your life and then
they become a part of you. Then they just
rip away and leave. Life has lines , where
if you cross them it becomes UN-neat and sloppy.
If your not careful it will get crinkled,and torn,
you have to take care of it. Every person who comes and sticks around
writes a story, and every single story is a work of art.
You meet so many people,and they write so many story's, and sooner
than you knew possible it runs out and your story is over.
You just have to hope that it was good enough and filled with enough memories that
it will stand the test of time and your story will live on for others to know.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi! Hero here to review this
Unkempt or untidy or disorganized
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Okay, I must admit... your title hooked me. I was hoping for a very beautiful comparison piece where I realize the truth, but only two parts in your poem echoed this. Don't get me wrong, I really loved it (*Liked*) but it could have been better...
Yes, 'Un-Neat' is not a word and though you might know that, you still used it
I would really, really prefer better comparisons. You can do it, I know you can. I know that especially because I read:
Read this and compare it to the rest of your poem and see what makes it so good, then imitate it with the rest. I didn't get that edge piece. Maybe you need to study notebooks?:
They have pages - compare something there? "There's alot of pages"
Lines
Cover (Not to be judged?)
Take your notebook and read it
Okay,s o this was like a zippy review and not so organized, but I hope it helped
Really nice. I love your perspective and the metaphores you make.
First off capitalize the first word of each stanza...this will make it look neat. the other things are bolded in the quote.Few things to look at:
add some commas to make it flow better. ...more commas i mean...like at the end of stanzas in some places.
it was a great poem and fun to read and think about.
feel free to PM or comment on my guest book with any questions comments complaints or concerns.
♥ ♥ emoticon welcome to YWS!