You're not with me any more. Almost, but not quite. I'm not as exciting, I'm a mere pigeon pecking at the left over scraps of vultures, of hawks and great eagles. It's only you who does this, I wave my hand at anyone else. Pressure of the mind comes just as layers of snow falls, little details become a suffocating avalanche. Yet it does not phase you because I am here, we were freezing together. However, someone else has thawed you out and has shown you the delicacies of spring.
This emotion is rampant and messy, joint with how you have left me. But have you truly? Do your hands cup my cheeks into a farewell, or is it an embrace of thanks for what I have given to see your face, sparkling with the light of my love for you.
My shadow of thought knows you be back, dear, but how long must I wait, icy and crisp?
Whatever the barrenness that may occur from it, I will persevere. You have thawed already, but so will I when I see that glimmer in your iris', telling me you have come home to me again.
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Canary word: Present
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
WOW! That was really great and kind of sentimental. I love how the identity's are a secret which leaves us to guess and the way you used winter and spring to represent it. It's really good and over all I really do like it. As an improvement maybe you could make it longer. Apart from that I don't know. I really don't know what else to say except it great. You should keep writing stuff like this there excellent.
That's so sweet of you to say! I'll make sure to as well
All I can say is that you did a good job. I like the use of metaphor, especially with the use of light and darkness. Metaphor is the most important part of writing, so make sure you harness your abilities. Keep up the great work and continue writing!
Wow, thank you so much! I'll be sure to keep writing
Wow! Nice job! I really enjoyed how you kept the identities of the subjects a secret by not giving away any names or characteristics. It allowed it to stay sort of mysterious for me. Your comparisons made sense with the point you were getting across, which is a plus
However, the setting is a little vague and when you use the describing words icy and "crisp' it is a little awkward. Overall, I really liked you take on this emotion and thought it to be right on the ball. Great job and keep writing 
Oh wow, thank you! I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the feedback
and don't worry, I will!