Cataract Operation

by cucumber44
  • October 2, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

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Comments & reviews · 2
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Gamergirl
Review
Gamergirl wrote a review · Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:31 pm

The sun comes like a headthrough last night's turtleneck. A pigeon in the yard turns tailand offers me a card. Any card.From pillar to post, a pantomimeof damp, forgotten washingon the washing line.So, in the breeze: the olé of a crimson towel.the cancan of a ra ra skirt, the monkey business of a shirtpegged only by its sleeve, the cheerioof a handkerchief. I drop the blindbut not before a company of half a dozen hensstruts through the gate, looks round the courtyardfor a contact lens.


Really good. However didn't really understand it at first, hahha. You done a great job on keeping the flow and rythem. :) Keep it up!

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StoryWeaver13
Review
StoryWeaver13 wrote a review · Sun Oct 02, 2011 4:34 pm

I really liked this, it's simplistic but at the same time has a lot to it. There's a really nice flow and the way you weaved it together was pretty clever. Honestly not completely sure I understand all of this, but all the same. ;) Alas, I've found nothing to criticize/critique.

Keep writing,
StoryWeaver



Think of all the beauty still left around you, and smile.
— Anne Frank