Cataract Operation

by cucumber44

  • Poetry
  • Lyrical

Published October 2, 2011

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Comments & reviews · 2
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Gamergirl
Review
Gamergirl wrote a review Review · Oct 3, 2011

The sun comes like a headthrough last night's turtleneck. A pigeon in the yard turns tailand offers me a card. Any card.From pillar to post, a pantomimeof damp, forgotten washingon the washing line.So, in the breeze: the olé of a crimson towel.the cancan of a ra ra skirt, the monkey business of a shirtpegged only by its sleeve, the cheerioof a handkerchief. I drop the blindbut not before a company of half a dozen hensstruts through the gate, looks round the courtyardfor a contact lens.


Really good. However didn't really understand it at first, hahha. You done a great job on keeping the flow and rythem. :) Keep it up!

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StoryWeaver13
Review
StoryWeaver13 wrote a review Review · Oct 2, 2011

I really liked this, it's simplistic but at the same time has a lot to it. There's a really nice flow and the way you weaved it together was pretty clever. Honestly not completely sure I understand all of this, but all the same. ;) Alas, I've found nothing to criticize/critique.

Keep writing,
StoryWeaver



More than anything she wanted the world to be uncomplicated, for right and wrong to be as easily divided as the black and white sections of an Oreo. But the world was not a cookie.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes