*This is under my folder titled “Rabbit creatures”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy and Scary Creepmas!*
The rabbit-beings of Christmas
Are people who are human and rabbit
They’ve been created from a tree branch dipped in snow and sprinkled with Christmas magic
Cupcake and his wife, Poppet
Had a child birthed from spilled blood named Danielle
And they all happily ever after
The rabbit-beings of the Yuletide season
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
This whimsical poem creatively blends fantasy and the Christmas season. The unique origin story of the rabbit-beings adds an intriguing element of magic. The names Cupcake and Poppet contribute to the lighthearted and charming tone. The abrupt ending feels slightly unsatisfying, leaving the reader wanting more detail about the rabbit-beings' lives. Overall, it's a fun, imaginative piece that captures the spirit of Christmas in a unique way.
Er, this had excellent eerie overtones--and undertones--and made me think of a mashup of Tim Burton, Ed Gorey, and Roald Dahl.
I picture it being part of a collection of eerie creatures oriented around a holiday or a season? Not sure if that is, in fact, what it is -- you seem to reference something about your character designs in the preface note.
The few things that struck me as perhaps off-tone or inconsistent:
Cupcake and Poppet (same type of thing) have daughter named...Danielle. Is the daughter purposefully meant to have a name that doesn't fit the parents?
The twitch from "Christmas magic" and "snow" to a kid coming out blood -- was jarring, but in a startling way, the way the best horror tweaks your sight. So cheers.
Is it a story at some point, then, or is it like it felt, a small sketch to go along with others?
Toodles,
IMP
You can read my story %u201CChris and the ghost girl%u201D under my folder titled %u201CRabbit creatures%u201D.
Her name is Danielle for a reason.
Glad you enjoyed!
Hello, My Friend!
It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review this piece! Technically this isn't the real Familiar method, but Imma call it that anyway XD Let’s dive right in, shall we?
I think this was a short-but-sweet poem to throw into this year's Creepmas lineup! The imagery is eerie, downright grizzly in the case of Danielle, yet fits the festive wintery theme! It honestly reminds me of one of those old, eerie nursery rhymes that would make you question if and how they're for children (looking at you, Hearse Song and Goosey Gander...).
From a technical point of view, I think there could have been even a teeny bit more elaboration on the purpose or general lifestyle of the rabbit-creatures, like a line exploring if they're hostile or friendly toward humans or what triggers them to attack. Unless there is prior context I'm missing. Still, overall, it's a great piece and I can't complain much!
As for favorite lines, I enjoy the visuals. Like here:
Mentioning a winter tree branch as the basis for the rabbit-people's design gives me this creepy mental image of a creature with twiggy, knotted limbs that really helped bring out that creep factor. Something akin to the Crooked Man almost. And of course, "birthed from spilled blood" makes for a lot of eerie ideas too. Super cool!
Overall, that was a nice poem!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Hi Vampricone! Happy Review Day! Valkyria here to leave a quick review for your work. This poem is short, so my review won't take super long; but I hope you still get something out of it! Let's get into it:
What a charming little piece! I love how much lore is packed into these lines without taking up a ton of space. The names are adorable (especially Poppet), and there's a lot of festive energy, particularly in the third line.
I will say that Danielle's birth kind of took me out of the poem a little because of the violent imagery associated with it, but I think you can turn that into a positive. The genres give you a lot of room for creativity, I think you can lean into the creepiness a lot more. The first three lines gives festive and cozy vibes, but you can turn that into something darker and unnatural while retaining the holiday energy. Like Tim Burton-esque.
Overall, this was a lovely poem to read. Well done!