Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.
*This story is underneath my folder titled “Solstice, sacrificed”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=116005&start=975 . This is based off a Christmas tale I wrote, which is under my folder titled “25 Christmas tales”. Enjoy and Scary Creepmas!*
Solstice swung her legs back and forth as she sipped her tea, waiting for her family to come and join her. She was sitting on a chair at a table of tea out in the freezing cold wearing a dress made of twine and yet, she wasn’t cold at all. She was cold earlier, but at the tea party with the cloaked person, she hadn’t felt the cold air in the slightest.
But didn’t the person say that her family would join her at the tea party? Why didn’t they come yet? Where did they go? Why were they taking so gosh darn long?
“How come my family isn’t here yet?” Solstice asked, putting down her tea cup after she finished drinking from it.
The person adjusted their hood slightly and folded their hands together. Solstice hadn’t seen their hands until that very moment and swallowed hard when she saw that their hands had no skin, only bones.
“There’s no easy way to say this, Solstice. Do you know who I am?” The person asked, their thin, lace-like brows creasing with concern.
No. Solstice had never even seen a person that looked them or heard of a person that looked like them. She shook her head, wondering why they were asking such a question.
“Oh. I thought you would have known. Well, I guess I can just tell you now, to get it over with…I’m the Grim Reaper. I take in those who have died. Solstice, you’re dead. Your family set this up for you. They do this every year to give different children as offerings to the demon Samael. They think that if they give him children then their homes will be safe from the cold. But Samael doesn’t like human sacrifices and he won’t stop the cold if he keeps getting kids. He can’t control the weather. We don’t know why they think this way, but they do. I’m going to help you pass on.” The Grim Reaper said.
Her parents always said that the demon Samael would want children to visit him to make Christmas better…but she was dead? No, that couldn’t be…right?
The Grim Reaper (at least, that was what they called themself), reached out and pricked Solstice’s wrist with an icicle shard. No blood came out, no cut came through. She didn’t even feel it.
“There’s no blood. You can’t feel the cold. You’re dead, pain doesn’t exist for you anymore. Solstice, take my hand. I’ll help you get through this. That’s what I always do.” The Grim Realer said, opening their free hand for her to take.
Maybe it was all a nightmare. Maybe her family didn’t really kill her. Maybe she’d wake up and would be back home, just in time for Christmas.
But Solstice took the Grim Reaper’s hand, just in case it was all real.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,808 Reviews
Hello Again, My Friend!
Hello once again, Creeper! I spotted another Creepmas story and couldn't resist, I am loving them so far ~
Ooo, here we have a much darker Creepmas story, tapping into some disturbing old legends and practices...And poor Solstice has certainly gotten the worst of it here ToT
I've no suggestions for change, except maybeeee, I feel like the amount of times the Grim Reaper says "you're dead" took just a bit of the impact out of the moment, but I also get it because like, you're trying to get it to sink in.
That aside, let's look at highlights!
Random thing to notice, maybe, but I love the name "Solstice"! That was a super creative one!
This is so messed up and sad!! Poor girl!! ToT
I love how you made Death a figure more like this merciful and empathetic guide, than a foreboding cryptid <33
Overall, that was another great Creepmas story! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
So glad you enjoyed! And I never really saw Death as evil, more of like a benevolent figure%u2026for most, anyway.
Thx for reading!
This is a pretty nice story. There was some good foreshadowing for Solstice being dead like when she couldn't feel the cold at all. I also liked how you built up to the reveal that the cloaked person was death. However, I think the exposition afterwards was somewhat clunky and you don't explore her feelings after finding out that her own family sacrificed her all that much. But, besides those small issues this is a fun and interesting short, it reads kind of like a fable.
Yeah I%u2019m considering adding more lore