Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
See if anyone hopes to find something really interesting or to get a taste of superior quality of literature, believe me this work of mine is not for you. This is something I am writing for myself and believe me I dont really give a fuck about what anyone thinks of my piece.
If anyone is considerate enough who still desires to go any further after reading those first three lines, well, welcome to my account of experiences during lockdown .
The lockdown in this side of the world began around March and surely robbed me of all those hopes and ambitions I had about the last year of my school life.The first few days began with a hope that the lockdown would soon be over, the next few days were spent hoping that I could still hold on to the previous hope which now seemed to be drifting and constantly drowning in the sea of doubts and despairs. Well after that, I actually went over a pretty exciting period in my life, which include speaking to trees and walls of my house hoping to get an answer, mugging up all Lewis Capaldi songs and trying to sing them in a seemingly fake Scottish accent, learning Spanish (although my knowledge in the language is limited to 'Gracias' and 'lo siento') and playing at a guitar concert after which my crush had complimented by saying that my singing was bad but my guitar playing skills were worse.#sadLife.
Well about my love life, the only girl I had loved with all my life moved out of state for higher studies. She is actually the elder sister of one of my friends and has always treated me like her little brother although she is just a couple of years older to me., but guess what I have always loved her although have been afraid to confess it to her in case I might embarrass her (actually I kind of now feel that it was my fear of rejection that kept me from confessing). Well hailing from an all-boy's school, the gates of brotherhood and comradeship are all that we have ventured and she seemed to be like something of which I had never known of (a love at first sight), a breath of fresh air, an angel from the sky, but never mind good things rarely last for long.It wont be a lie if I admit that I have actually flirted with my pillow for long nights hoping and wishing it was her and have actually kissed it in all possible ways , at possible places. I also had a crush on my physics teacher's daughter whom i believe, actually has a crush on my best friend. So my love life is something that I surely don't love anymore.
Well the positive side of the lockdown , I have actually realised many things in a newer way and discovered a dozen of new feelings, or perhaps they were the same old felling felt in a different, and more beautiful way. I actually feel that my guitar playing skills have improved, learnt playing chess and my self-confidence has never known higher horizons, where no matter what others say, I remain undaunted, in simpler words just being a badass.
Moreover I seemed to have grown much more creative which include discovering new ways of bunking online classes everyday. My online classes actually comprise of me listening to songs, playing games , watching all kinds of things from action movies to porn and doing everything other than studying.
Its January now, and the exams are closing by, the ones we call the engineering competitive exams( held all over the country ), and hailing from a country where just a few people actually mean a million of them, scoring a good percentile in these exams is like trying to hunt a lion with a pencil. But never mind, moving on with life irrespective of the hardships is the beauty of it and the imperfections are the ones which make it all the more graceful..
Coming to the final part, about my writing, I have logged in to the YWS for the first time since 2018 and am still writing under some stupid pen-name the immature 14 year old me had given. Well I am - a former athletic champion, the best speaker of my school , an aspiring actor, the captain of the football team,- No ! I have never been any of those , those are which I had dreamt of being but was never able to. I am just a fucking douchebag who knows that and is actually proud of that. Last time I had written here, most of the guys had pointed out that I lack the sense of paragraph making and my punctuation is horrible, guess what thats the only part of me which hasnt changed at all, I also noticed a few spelling mistakes along the way but have been lazy enough to go back and change them, cause as I said I am just writing this for myself. On a happier note, as a relief for you, my reader( perhaps the only one patient enough to read this piece of shit), this is the last time I am writing cause I realised writing isnt my cup of tea and got to spend some more time now writing equations and theorems since I can hear the exams knock at the door and visualise them knocking me out at the same time.
So Adios Amigos cause as the saying goes
" If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life rewards you with a new hello".