Published April 20, 2008
I love you, he says.
But can I believe him?
You're beautiful, he says.
But is it true?
I'll never hurt you, he says.
But will he?
Im yours forever, he says
But is he?
I'll never leave you, he says.
But wont he?
I love you, he says.
And I believed him.
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141,262 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
I really like this becuse it shows you would feel, would you trust them.
I really like this. It shows something that most relationships have to deal with. I love the ryme it has and the way it flows. Because it is so short, I have really nothing to critique. I think that the ending sort of interrupts the flow, but that's just my oppinion.
Jamie
I like the recurring 'But' at the start of every second line.
It gives the poem a structure and rhythm.
I've read stuff similar to this before, but the great thing is that lots of people can relate to it.
I actually really liked this. Short and sweet, but still filled with bittersweet emotions. Very nice. Please use apostrephes (is that speeled right?) though.
It's cute. Not much to review here. You might want to lessen the use of but. I don't know how, though. I think your using it every other line is quite redundant.
I liked the last line. ^^