All and More

Hi! Thanks for sharing your poetry. You wrote that you're not very good at poems, but I'd encourage you to just think about how good you can be at poetry, as evidenced here! You don't need to have been writing for years or write absolute perfection to create something beautiful that touches people.

I have a few comments on the poem's grammar and wording, but overall you did a great job.

First, in a few places, you have commas that might not be necessary. I usually read poetry out loud, because that helps me grasp the rhythm and musicality of a poem. When I got to your final line, the comma in the middle didn't sound quite right. You might want to consider changing the final line to "My darling, you are my all and more." Of course, that's totally up to you!

Second, right now you're only using punctuation in the end of the poem. To me, it seems like you could make the poem into several separate sentences.

"As we lay on the floor,
My eyes start to explore,
All your beauty inside and all it's galore.
Our fingers intertwine as if we're on a dance floor.
I kiss your head and whisper so softly,
My darling, you are my all and more."

See how the added periods and commas indicate where you'd want to pause when reading the poem? That can be important to how the tone of a poem comes across.

Finally, the word "galore" is an adjective, and it's usually used to describe a noun directly preceding it. In your poem, this might look like "All your inner beauty galore." Of course, you can use words however you like - it's your poem, but just a suggestion!

Hopefully you found something helpful in this review. If you have any questions on my feedback, I'm happy to expand further. Keep on writing!

Hello man! I am quite the new reviewer so please, go easy on me.
I am not a very fan of romance, but a apreciate beauty and your poem exerts that.
I don't have much to criticize, in fact i only have some personal sugestions that it's up to you wether you'll hear out or not.
The first thing is on the the fourth line. On most of the poem you ended all your setences with similar sounds and it gave a flow to it, so i would reccomend switching the word 'softly' for some other that kept it going, unless breaking the flow is in fact your intention, but if that's it, i think it would be better to do so in the last line since i think it would carry more meaning.
And, as someone else mentioned, i think it would be better to give "my all and more" it's own line.
But that sumarizes my opnions on what could get better. That's a good poem you have there and i hope this review helped you

Hi Jazzy!

A belated welcome to YWS, I hope you're enjoying the site so far.

I really like how you've kept this so short, it's really in keeping with the sweet tone throughout your poem.

A couple of nitpicks I have:

All your beauty inside and all it's galore

Our fingers intertwine as if we're on a dance floor

Hi!
I think poems inspired by loved ones are very beautiful, and this one definitely is. The length is very nice because it's just enough to portray your feelings for this someone, but also not too long, so it doesn't lose the reader's attention.

On line 3 you might want to remove the comma so that it flows easier into "Our fingers intertwine as if we're on a dance floor".

In the last line, you also might want to make "My all and more" or "My darling you are, my all and more" a new line to show that that's the point of the poem because the title is 'All and More".

Of course, these are merely suggestions, so you may either leave or take them!

Even if you say that you are not very good at writing poems, I am sure that there are many readers who'd like to read more of your poems.

Toodle-oo!