Jett's P.O.V
‘On a bleak summer morning, a hush went over the town. What caused this silence was unknown, so unknown that even the government didn't know what was happening. All movement was forgotten. The people of the town peered to the heavens and stayed that way…’ The pencil stopped and so did my flow of thought. One summer day, I had the hope of writing a story, and now, it just ceased. I wasn't mournful about having this writer’s block, it was just dissatisfying.
“What happened? What about the town?!” A familiar holler came from behind me, taking me from my thoughts. I watched as a hand snatched away my paper.
“I don’t know. You figure it out.” I spun in my office chair to see Emily, my fourteen year old sister. She scanned the college ruled paper with her cyan eyes. “You’ll just have to see… and why are you in my room?” I raised an eyebrow as she rushed out, dropping the sheet on the polished floor. I worried about her welfare since I was four years older than her. My eyes averted from the wooden door to the lined up clocks that hung around the room. To me, a clock was a resemblance of time. Every second that hand moves, is a second of my life being passed. I have noticed that there's a clock in every room I enter. It's like an eye, staring down at me or an emblematic reminder that I will one day be under millions of blossoms and stone. Then why would I keep a grim reminder? That answer will forever be unknown. “Emily, it’s five O’clock!”
“I know that! Anything else I need to know,” She replied from the room across from mine. My mind looked at the many options I could say to her.
“Like what?” I questioned, staring back to the clock.
“I don’t know. It just seems like saying ‘It’s five O’clock’ out of the blue is weird,”
“Weird?” I stood up and walked to the wooden door. “Ouch Emily! Are you calling me weird!?" I dramatically joked while my back leaned on the wall.
“No! I would never-” I heard her say in muffled tone and stutter a bit.
“I’m joking, Emily,” My face appeared in the entrance of her room. My eyes had to get use to transitioning colors from dark blue to pink of her room.
“Geez! You joke around too much!” She had her arms wrapped tightly around her pillow, beaming in my direction. Her jubilation shown through, though her eyes said otherwise.
“You know, they say that the eyes are the window to the soul,” I ambled to her , walking up and flicked her forehead.
“Hey! Why would you…” She quickly concealed her temple with her hands. It seemed that something ceased when she looked up at me. I bet she wasn't familiar with my honest or troubled expressions, for I usually greeted her with simpers and grins.
“What’s wrong?” I said softly. Her demeanor changed from angry to surprised.
“I’m just thinking about what happened. When mom and dad just vanished,” Her grip grew stronger on the pillow beside her. “You remember?” Her pupils averted away from me to the wall, a daze crossing them as if remembering the day.
“Yeah,” an exhaled breath went through my lips. “This is the grim sixth anniversary of that strange event. Worst part, it happened in the middle of my room,” I mumbled. Now, I couldn't get it out of my mind. It wasn't the thought, it was how it happened One second, they were talking to me and the next, they denigrated into thin air.
“Sorry for recalling it. I’m not used to seeing you like this. I don’t like it,” She nudged my side with her elbow. “Please forget me even mentioning it,” She softly smiled. Somehow she made the moment feel better.
“You were trying to cheer me up?” A grin slowly crept its way onto my face. Her expression halted.
“No….I!” Laughing, I patted her head and stood from my seat. “Hey! Don’t touch my hair!” She took the pillow and threw it at my face.
“Man down! Man down!” I felt the soft object touch my skin, “I’m dying….I’m going to die!” I soon collapsed onto my knees and fell to the floor. A choking noise came from my mouth.
“Oh no. You’re allergic to softness? Are you choking on air?” She shrugged her shoulders at the dramatic scene.
“You would be the worst doctor ever. Anyway, I have to go to work,” I hoisted myself off the floorboards. I stood straight and turned her way, her arms were crossed when I glanced at her.
“You mean that creepy clock shop. I mean, no one goes there and it’s old…” She commented on the shop, unsure of me. Although her judgment was true, I didn't think it was lame. The Gothic, medieval- like shop was very interesting in my opinion.
“It’s actually a tourist attraction. Thank you very much!” I stroll to a beat until I touched my bike. “Emily, I’ll be home by nine!” I unlocked it and wheeled it out into the cold, outside world. The flow of the wind went through the ghost ridden town. Beginning to ride through the city was like riding through an abandoned library. There was nothing worthy, nothing exhilarating that this town had to offer but the sun’s hot ray of light. My eyes witnessed my destination and to my amazement, there was a boy standing there. It was almost like he sought to purchase something. I parked my trail bike into the empty parking lot. ”Sorry for the wait…”
“Apology accepted, Jett,” He said in a faint voice. The suspicious person had his face in the glass; His backside faced me. The fact that a person that I wasn't familiar with knew my name was uncanny. He must be some sort of psychic. I focused my attention on the keys while I unlocked the door.
“There we go…” I decided to look toward his direction. Two blood red eyes that were like a pit of nothingness were now inches away from me. My eyes widened a bit as my smile was ready to convert into the real unpleasant expression I craved to expose.
“Thank you,” He smiled widely and walked inside. A hush came over me when I slowly walked in. It was the same cobwebs and the same polished wooden interior, but it wasn't at all the same feeling. “So, can I help you…?” I asked, my azure green eyes moving from the clocks to the little boy beside me.
“Jett, time is not on your side.” His innocent voice interrupted my question. My heart skipped a beat as my smile started to lessen.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I laughed it off.
“The clocks told me so. You don’t have much time left,” He stood there, grinning at me. The atmosphere tensed to the point of my shoulders feeling like bricks. I could feel my heart halt, his words running over in my mind.
“Sorry kid, but if you’re not going to buy anything, I am going to have to ask you to leave,”
“There will be nothing to buy if you don’t hurry,” That sentence was my limit. The panic inside me was now screaming for freedom.
“I’m going to go…take a break,” I said and hurriedly walked to the exit. I could sense my breath rate abate. I opened the door and the outside familiarized me with an obscure sky. ‘Wasn't it just Sunny...?’It’s been six minutes exactly since I left that very spot. My head started to rotate but as the shop came into vision, it was like he was never there. My body involuntarily sprinted to my bike. I climbed on top of the seat and started to ride fast into the wind. ‘Ride! Ride!’those words repeated and I submitted until I got home. “Emily! Open the door!” I hammered on the door powerfully, nervousness still aching at my heart.
“Jett! Calm down!” I heard her voice from inside as the door opened. It revealed her irritated countenance, a huff coming from her lips.
“Remember, don’t go outside at night, watch for time changes, and don’t get a boyfriend,” I spoke, my mind thought up the last rule, but I was serious about the other two.
“What!?” She asked as confusion etched itself over her face. I paced back and forth from the wall. “What does that have to do with anything- Oh, and your delivery came for the last piece of your clock collection,” She put her hands on her hips. The fact that time was messing with me didn't feel good. I didn't even want to hear about a chronometer.
“I don’t remember placing an order for one,” I calmed myself and leaned against the wall, watching Emily brush her hair.
“Well, a kid came here and said “tell Jett that time is not on his side” and then handed me the clock,” She explained, her eyes looking upwards in thought. My eyes widened; a zany smile now covering my face.
“Did this kid happen to be a short, black haired boy with a pale complexion, not mentioning his blood red eyes and his creepy smile?” I indistinctly asked, anticipating for a ‘no’, but something in my heart said I was going to perceive another answer.
“Actually, yes. How did you know?” Emily stared at me like I was a maniac. This kid went to my household, chatted with my sister, and presented me with a creepy timepiece; he already past the boundary line. The timeline of events gave me this loathsome feeling that only confrontation could extinguish. Yet my expression didn't show it, I was quite serious. I felt my knuckles crack, making snapping noises echo across the interior.
I wasn't afraid to commit any act of hate to get what I deserved.
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Hi, Cookie64!
Crikey that was brilliant! Such a fast paced and unusual storyline, I was hooked the whole time!This strange kid has certainly caught my attention, how he has stated that time is not on his side really creeped me out, but then again, is time really on anyone's side? I like how you've mirrored that, great job!
As for any mistakes I can't really find any, so very well done on that note. Also, I love how you've zipped from one time to another, which is very mysterious and I loved every paragraph of this chapter, so intense!
I've got a few questions to ask about the storyline:
How and why did their parents just suddenly disappear into thin air? Is there even an explanation?
Who is this mysterious kid? Is he even of Earth?
Is the concept of sentient beings going to be introduced? Because time is a powerful yet untamable thing, and I can't wait to find out the answers!
Overall this is a very good piece, very intense, very fast paced and all at the same time very mysterious, what a great combination!
Can't wait for the next chapter!
LordofLit101
thank you
Woah! That was INTENSE! I loved every second of the first chapter. Most people leave the first chapter to act as a basic summary of the setting and characters of the story, but you... You just jumped right into the action. Before I knew it I was on the edge of my seat. I fell in love with the relationship between Jett and his adoring little sister Emily. They behave as if they really care about each other and that having a brother or a sister around to keep their spirits up or to be compassionate to means the world them. I have a sister and I see myself in their shoes. The boy who came into the store really gave me a fright. At first I thought that after he said 'Time is not on your side' he would've laughed and said 'That was a clock joke' but he's not that type of character. He apparently has no qualms about overstepping his boundaries to get message through to you. You seem to be very good at describing things as they happen. It gives the reader a sense of motion, as if they were watching the chapter or the scene take place. Lastly I want to say that I am so looking forward to seeing what on this good Earth happened to their parents. I want to know what can make someone disappear so that I don't end up as the next victim. Thank you for this great chapter, I'll be sure to be reading the next.
---->MerrySleuth
Hi!
This is a very interesting story. This being a review I'm going to talk to you about the strong suits in this story, because I couldn't find any mistakes. Good job!
The detail that you put into this story is exquisite. I've been reading way to many stories on this with too many passive sentences, it's good to get some strong words.
The fact that their parents just disappeared kind of reminds me of one of my favorite book series, The Sisters Grimm. That's really the only similarity between the two, but I think that your story will be just as good as that one of you continue with this great writing!
I am very excited to continue reading, and finding out more about these characters!
Keep writing,
B. E. Writer
Thank you