Published August 11, 2005
Should I forgive you
the too many mistakes you’ve made?
You test the durable and generous
bounds of my love,
which is caught between
limitlessness of my childhood
that convinced me you could be my hero
and the grown-up restrictions
of seeing you in the harsh florescent light of truth.
Please don’t push me much harder.
My patience and understanding don’t grow
with your increasing need to frustrate them.
I will forgive you this one last time
but don’t be surprised
if I too rarely call when I know
you’re waiting by the telephone
with a full head of gray hair
and too many regrets.
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141,302 Literary Works • 674,338 Reviews
I like this. I do. Some lines have too many syllables, but the ending is good, blunt and very direct. I like the images, too, the way you explain things without going into excessive detail, the way the emotion is there without being overwhelming. Good job.
I really like the way you've worded this, especially '...caught between limitlessness of my childhood
that convinced me you could be my hero and the grown-up restrictions of seeing you in the harsh florescent light of truth.' By using the phrase 'harsh fluorescant light of truth' it really adds to the feeling of the poem. Nicely done. I'm not so sure about the ending, though... it's still good... but not as good as the first part. *racks brains for a suggestion* Actually, i've changed my mind. I do like the ending.
Nice work.