Between a girl and a boy
Is something like a plain doll and a boring wooden toy
Many say it's bound to be written
On many pieces of paper, not forgotten
Will please many audiences
Far and wide
And take up that love story to dine
Gobbling it up and spout it about
For generations to come
And will not be gone, even when time itself is done
But why can't that love story be between a girl and a girl?
Or a boy and a boy?
Why can't that so called love story show its true sides?
When those love stories show fake smiles and brides?
Not the truth, but the sweetest of lies.
------
A simple love story could be
Between a girl and a boy
Or a girl and a girl
Or maybe even a boy and a boy too
Should show the sweetest of love
No, not some pure white dove flying above
But what a real love story can show could be
A reason to glow
In the dark
Or ignite a spark
In their lovers' hearts
Maybe they could show each other to care
And bear the strongest pain
Yet a real love story should show
A reason to glow,
To love and grow,
To face problems with a dive
And finally, to inspire each other to live and thrive.
-----
"I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.”
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I love this poem! I 100% stand by it. Love should be anyone's game. Whatever you want out of it, likely someone else will have the same intrest as you. Love is never a choice, whatever you attracted to, whatever you want, don't let anyone else tell you what that is. Only you know. I'd like to see a movie, about a romance between two people, but they don't specify the genders, so they literally cast anyone, it will not matter the gender, sexuallity, nothing. Just 2 great actors. Bcasue that's what love shoud be, free, and liberating. Not pain endusing or stressful. 10/10, great job dude!
Good work. I don't all the way agree with what you're saying, but it's very well written. For my grammar check, On the twentieth line I just wanted to make sure you knew that it started with "Should" and maybe you meant It should. For what I would change, except or that last comment, i wouldn't change any thing about the writing. I liked how you added that quote at the end.
Thank you! Ah, that's alright.
Alright, I'll fix up or review the poem over to reevaluate it but thank you for telling me!
And yeah, I added that quote on purpose, it's a really inspiring quote for me.
Hey coehl! CHRISSY321 here with a review!
*Happy review day!*
I really loved the message of this poem! I really do agree that anyone should be able to love whomever they choose, even if it is a person of the same sex! This is a world where people should have the freedom to be who they are, and love who they want. It is about want makes them happy, not other people whom's life is really not effect if some strangers are homosexual or not!
Now for the actual poem:
I think it would be better to say:
'Is something like a plain doll or a boring wooden toy'
Having the 'or' instead of 'and' makes it flow better
Other than that I think it is perfect! Yay! Great job,and I hope you continue to write
~Chrissy <3
Hey there, thanks for stopping by and reviewing my work!
Oh I'm glad that you love the message of this poem, I'm happy that you like it! And I agree with you about your views too.
Mkay, I'll fix up the flow a bit with your advice, and it does make it sound better. Thank you for the critique and stopping by <3 !
Okay, let me start off with this, miyazaki is everything.
Now on to the poem. I really like it, the only real big problem is that there is hardly any punctuation. Without the punctuation, your poem is just one big thing that runs together with no breaks or pauses. Poems really need that, you need that pause or break for readers to really focus on a certain line, to add emphasis. So, I would advise you to read through aloud and every time you pause add a comma. Every time you go to a new idea, add a period. It would really benefit a great poem like this. This being inspired by Miyazaki, I was really hoping for some wonderful imagery and warmth that you find for studio ghibli's animations, but I realize that this is based off a quote. I really also like the message behind this, good work and keep on writing.
Yes I agree Miyazaki is amaze, I also love your profile picture !! Oh I see about the punctuation, thank you so much for pointing it out! I'll add more punctuation in my future poems to come. Again thank you for the advice and critique I love it and I greatly appreciate it, along with the love and support for this poem too!! And I will keep on writing!! <3