Let me know what you think about the overlook. If people like it, then I will start writing the book. Thanks!
Kylee and The Mermaid Kindom
Overlook:
Kylee is a beautiful, popular, super fast swimmer that everyone loves and looks up to. But when Kylee’s world is turned upside down with strange things that happen in the water, people start to think twice about their role model. Even worse, they think she’s cheating at swim meets. Then, Kylee is pulled under the water and face to face with a real mermaid! When Kylee enters the world of her long lost sister, she finds that not only her real world, but also her mermaid kingdom are in danger. She must find the prophecy that was destined to be her fate, and make it come true before time runs out and she is stuck between both universes!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Not really story here to review but I think I'm going to try and review what you have here anyway because it does still deserve a review. So the first impression of this as an "overlook" as you put it or I supposed synopsis if you use the official term it sounds pretty interesting. You've conveyed the main plot points fairly well I think although mentioning the sister part is a little off there. It doesn't seem to fit in there very well. And the first part somehow doesn't seem to connect very well to the other part almost as if they are two separate stories.
Anyway let's get right to it,
So yaa...I think should first of all be in two paragraphs separated at the point where Kylee is pulled under the water. And the adjectives at the top are kind of unnecessary. When you simply day popular both the other adjectives are pretty much implied.
Overall: So besides the fact these seem to be a pair of disjointed ideas that were fused together I do think that they sound pretty cool and even though this is far too late (12 years too late) I would say that you should go ahead and write that book.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hmmm...I'm not sure this was exactly the place to post this - but I'm no mod, so it's not my place.
However, about the post itself - it definitely sounds intriguing! Go ahead and post the first bit and we'll see how it goes. It's difficult to critique what's not there, and you never know until you try! It sounds like a fun story, at any rate. I'm looking forward to it!
Au revoir,
mademoiselleKool
I think you should go ahead and start posting it!
Sounds pretty good to me.
I cannot wait!
paw