My Doctor

I LOVE that the feeling of hope was constant throughout the poem!

Anyway...

Your title doesn't sit with the story really well. The 'doctor' theme only shows up about half-way through. If you plan on sticking with that title then the theme should be constantly there all throughout the poem. If not, you should change the title.

Next, I can feel the pain, hope, and love coming through your words just enough and it reminds me to pick myself up and dust off when I fall down. Your work is very inspiring.

Hey there, Cinderellie!!

This is Eros here with a review for this beautiful piece of poetry of yours on this special occasion of the review day!!

Happy review day!!

So llllet's BEGIN!
First of all, the title is the first thing that comes when presenting a literary work. It's the most important thing to catch the attention of the readers and make them want to read it.
I'm glad that your title is very apt, catchy, small and sweet and very attractive.
That's a beauty romance.
I loved the unique way how you have compared a lover with the doctor.
"You can be my doctor and soothe all the pains" is the main idea, that is very unique and very beautiful!
But it was sad that the doctor chose to dissect it, instead of stitching it together and fill it with love and the Passion of the kiss.
Oh... Fill it with a kiss--- with love, was great description!

Then... Coming to the choice of set of the words. It was amazing. The words like dissect, stitch, open my body up, stitch it again, heart lying on your table, rock my body, numb the ache---- it was extremely realistic and extremely beautiful. So that deserves a like from me
And that implies that the choice of set of the words was awesome too. Though, the word 'stitch' is repeated over and over. Maybe use, "sew" somewhere..?

Rest... The presentation was also very good... But perhaps just use 'enter button's in between--- that'd break the poem into stanzas. Sentences seem a bit longer.. you could improve upon that too.

But these are honestly just a little extra parts, that will enhance its beauty. It's beautiful and I loved it very much.

The flow of idea is smooth. But the longer sentences doesn't make it look like a poem. It does feel and sound like a poem though. It's beautiful.

It was amazing.
.keep writing such beautiful, awesome and great poetries, and we would love to keep reading them and reviewing them!!
Have a great day/ night!
With love,
From Eros.

Hello, Anne here to leave you a review on this beautiful day!
Overall, I really enjoyed reading your poem. Although, it seems as if the first few lines are sort of cliche. Maybe you can say something like this:
' You fill my lonely heart with a sweet kiss
Where it is never seems to matter
I would love for you to love me,
please save my soul'
When you change your words a bit, it keeps the reader on their toes, they do not know what to expect next. Also, when you said SOS, it seemed out of place. If you were to remove this line or change it while revising, I feel as if it would benefit this poem. Another thing that seems out of place is later on in your poem, you say something about wanting the doctor to save the speaker's soul. This branches out from your theme and ultimately distracts your reader.
I love the way that you depicted heartache. In your future poems, I would try to include the reader ore. I felt a bit disconnected here because in the beginning you had no mention of 'you', but it seemed to appear later on in the poem. This makes me feel disconnected because it feels as if there is someone else between the speaker and I. Does that make any sense? I would also space out your stanzas.
Sorry that my review is not very long. I saw that there are already two other reviews on here and I did not want to repeat what has already been said.
If you every have any questions or concerns, feel free to pm me. Also, WELCOME TO YOUNG WRITERS SOCIETY!!!!!!!! IT IS WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU HERE.
Alright, I am done now. Have a wonderful day.

Heya cinderellie! Cat here to review your wonderful poem! I'll start by going pretty much line-for-line with my thoughts, so let's go!

First three lines are pretty nice; a little cliche, but still nice. Once we get to the SOS line, it feels off to me? I don't know, but that one line feels weird and out of place even though it really isn't.

Eighth line, and we switch from 'save my soul' to 'be my doctor'. In my opinion, it's a little weird and feels like you meshed two different poem ideas together. I'm not really a fan. Try to pick a theme and stay on it.

Then at the eleventh line, this narrator's lover suddenly breaks their heart? It's really weird to me and I think that this is switching themes again in a weird way. You can switch from love to heartbreak, I've read some good poems like that, but I don't feel the heartbreak here like I feel like I should.

Okay, so your line breaks are pretty good and didn't feel weird. Flow was okay; some of the lines were weird and broke that up. Rhythm wasn't super great in my opinion. I think the weird jumping theme of the poem contributed to that, but some of the wording was weird and choppy too.

Overall, this was still a pretty great poem! I think it has some awesome potential c: I hope this was helpful!

Keep writing! =^-^=
~Cat

Hello!

First off, wow... I am actually experiencing this right now in my life so I feel a strong connection to this poem. It is a beautifully written piece but a few things here and there.

I like how it is all one stanza with no rhyme scheme but I think you should have had multiple stanzas. Right now, it is all squished together, when some should have their own space to shine. Separating some of the lines would help give power to your work.

I like how you left ambiguity throughout the poem, allowing the reader to take it as they will (but to an extent in keeping the main message). For me, I read it and took it literally because, as I said, that is what I literally just went through this whole week.

I LOVE your use of the word "dissect," it was such a unique choice but it's perfect! You say "cut it open" and typically people leave it at that--people break your heart and leave it-- but no, you add "dissect" to show to the curiosity of the doctor and they just dig through the pieces to see what they find. Brilliant way of expressing the pain of a heartbreak and sometimes the shock of one.

It is interesting that you use "kiss" as the symbol of love... many use more secular things for love but you use the most commonly, publicly seen form of love: the kiss. I find this better because you use something almost everyone can relate to. The kiss is so powerful and seems so filling. So, great job on that.

I love the imagery you use, but I feel like I want some more. I feel and see the pain, but I want to feel/see more to truly know the heartbreak. Does that make sense? It seems like a poem about a regular heartbreak but there truly isn't such thing as a regular heartbreak, regardless of how many times one may experience it.

So, just a few things that I think about your poem, but it is wonderful!

Keep writing--Louisiana