little doll toy thing

Little doll, all you ever were was my play thing.
Broken face, torn ego, your heart has turned to coal.
Won't you smile for me once more?


and I broke off your legs, to keep you here all night.
Won't you love me?

and dragged you down my drain of spite.
Why don't you love me?


Little doll, don't you know you never meant a thing?
Spread legs, twisted brain, you never had a heart.
Innocent eyes don't twinkle anymore.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Sanna
Comment

Extremely good
I love the imagery
:D

User avatar
Wolf
Review
Wolf wrote a review · Sun Dec 02, 2007 12:39 am

Whoa...that was really, really good. There was a faint but unique rhyming scheme and I loved it!

chucki666 wrote:& I broke off your legs, to keep you here all night.
Won't you love me?

& I dragged you down my drain of spite.
Why don't you love me?


I'm not sure why you put & instead of 'and'. I think you should do 'and' though. It looks better and fits in more with the rest of the poem.

But that's all I have to say!
Keep writing,
Ayra :P



Lily you are my fig father
— Elliebanana