A lantern was buried in a forest behind a small village.It was buried under ground because the magic it holds scared the many of the people.
Many years later when the lantern was a legend a few of the young villagers decided to go look for it,they knew if they had the magic in the lantern they could use so they never had to work again, and might even become famous.If only they could find the lantern.
They went into the dark forest and looked and looked,and dug and dug but they could not find the magic lantern.
What they didn't know was that some of the legend was lost..the part that says it was in a forest in a cave buried.Now they had walked past a cave 7 times!
The villagers grew tired and the cave they kept passing had a warm glow to it.They thought,
"why not stop in here maybe there will be a clue to where the lantern is inside".
walking into the glowing cave they saw what made it glow so warmly...Gold..a lot of gold.But the boys were not looking for gold they wanted the magic lantern so continued to search for clues.
After looking a while the boys sat down and decided there was no magic lantern..but they did find a cave of gold.
they started digging the gold out of the cave with the shovels they had and what should they find?
The Magic Lantern.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Your seven year old son is really good at writing, i really like this story. I do know that young kids usually dont know the correct grammar or where to place the punctuations either. I mean I am 13 but yet i still have a problem with the punctuations so it is really normal to have mistakes. Your son is really talented but I am thinking, it would be easier if before posting the story you could try to correct the grammar and the places of the punctuations and while doing it you could teach your son.
For Example:
instead of scared the many of the people you could have changed it to scared many people.
another also is this one:
It would be more better if you wrote magic FROM the lantern.
I think it could also have been good if you wrote it like this:
the magic lantern so THEY continued to search for clues.
There is a punctuation after the word gold, that means the next word or sentence your gonna write is gonna start with a capital letter.
But even though the grammar was a bit wrong this was still the best story i have read from a seven year old!
And also, welcome to YWS!
Hello there! Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here as much as I do; there are some amazing, talented writers here who have a lot to share! If you've got any questions at all, please feel free to ask me or any one of them and we'll help you out! Now, on to the review!
Your seven year old son wrote this? Wow! It's actually good! Most of the problems I see with it pertain to punctuation and sentence structure.
Not a bad opening, I have to say! However, I wish you'd done one of the two things: started out the story by telling me about the kids digging, or gave me more information about the lantern. The two sentences just aren't enough here. Add one more about the Lantern, and it'll be perfect. Then move on to the next paragraph.
I have to give your child a lot of credit for writing this. It's very good. If you went over it with him and showed him how to punctuate it and structure the sentences properly, I'd adore it even more. Plus, you'll be teaching him good habits, and practice and good habits are what make good writing!
Always keep writing!! And tell you son that he is awesome!!
-Rose