Actually, just ignore my review, I thought it signified something it didn't. A tree. I like it as a tree, it's the correct length &c. The meaning is nice and it works well.
Well done 
~I often get things wrong, lol.
(:
(Just something I wrote quickly in health class. Once again, I'm not sure on the punctuation.)
A monk meditates in the morning light
His smooth arms crossed, refusing to fight.
He stays put, proud and strong
But his attackers won't wait long.
They come to him and await his move
Then laugh when he remains calm and cool.
The assault begins with axe and saw
Chopping and hacking; they bite and gnaw.
The monk can't take it, he hits the ground.
A mass of limbs in a tangled mound.
He wanted harmony, he wanted peace
Instead he was killed, every branch and leaf.
Actually, just ignore my review, I thought it signified something it didn't. A tree. I like it as a tree, it's the correct length &c. The meaning is nice and it works well.
Well done
~I often get things wrong, lol.
(:
Oh; this was different - that's good!
One thing I don't underatand though, is the fact that you have represented a tree by using a monk. Now, maybe I'm being COMPLETELY dense and so you should probably ignore me, but what does that connection mean to you and your poem?
You had a pretty consistent rhythm throught and that's always good - it annoys me when it's choppy. In particular I liked the first two lines in stanza three - they worked really well together and I think you did some good work. Stanza two line two didn't work so well though; it's a bit garbled and it ruins the flow a little.
I see what you mean about punctuation but sadly I'm not so good at it myself - sorry for not being as much of a help as you need. Good work!
Hmm... no reviews? I shall review 
Nit-picks/ comments on your piece first, the overall comments:
As far as first lines go yours was okay. Not great, but better than some. I like the way it introduces us to the story, but first lines are meant to punch us, drag us in and refuse to let us go. Not simply introduce us. Otherwise why should we read on? That said, it's okay, so I'd just stick with it.A monk meditates in the morning light
Farily simplistic, but it is description, it does paint images in our mind. I like the rhyme, not too forced sounding.His smooth arms crossed, refusing to fight.
Nix these, change it to his or the.He stays put, proud and strong
But these attackers won't wait long.
Why is there no rhyme in this line but there's rhyme in every other couplet?They come to him and await his move
Then laugh when he remains calm and cool.
Rather gruesome. xDThe assault begins with axe and saw
Chopping and hacking; they bite and gnaw.
The monk can't take it, he hits the ground.
A mass of limbs in a tangled mound.
He wanted harmony, he wanted peace
Instead he was killed, every branch and leaf.
Really though, I think you'd be good at it.
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