I wrote this for Cal's Song Inspiration Contest, and the song this is inspired by is Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide, by Shinedown, and the word it relates to is tragedy. It's pretty short, but here goes.
The room looked so much bigger from this angle. True, she was only a few feet off the ground, but those few feet made the shabby couch look even shabbier, provided an excellent view of the stained carpet, and threw the sticky, dust-and-dish covered counters into sharp relief. And suddenly, seeing the three-room apartment in all of its dingy glory, Sarah felt a small bit of confirmation in her choice. Amongst everything else, this was no quality of life to have to deal with.
The rope was cutting into Sarah’s neck. She wondered vaguely if she had tied the piece-of-crap-$1-a-yard-bargain-store cord tight enough, but figured it didn’t matter too much. She ran her fingers over the rough fibers, imagining how it would look when her mother found her (it was unlikely her mom would ever notice, because she was constantly drunk), or, more probably, when Jared found her. She supposed it would be a rather frightful scene, what with her gothic look and the gruesome calamity of the situation, but tragedy had always fascinated her. And this would most definitely be tragic.
It was at that moment that she heard the sound of heavy breathing and pounding footsteps as someone ran up the stairs that led to her apartment.
“SARAH!” A deep, raspy voice called. Jared. Sarah heard him try to open the door, but she had locked it. He beat his fists against it, making quite a racket. “Sarah, come out! I know you’re in there! What you saw just now was nothing, nothing! I LOVE YOU! Please, don’t do anything. It’s not worth it!” His pathetic excuses and feeble attempt at seeming amorous made Sarah smile sadistically. This would be even more tragic now that he was here, although it did surprise her that he had found her note so quickly.
“Jared, don’t make yourself into a fool in front of the neighbors. There are enough people who think you are an asshole as it is,” Sarah lightly called out. The banging against the door stopped. “You never loved me, you never will. Lie all you want, because it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Saaaraaaaaaah!” Jared shouted, his voice edging on hysteria. Sarah smiled. This would be such a great ending to this little story, the story of her and Jared’s short, phony romance. Not only would she be able to escape the wretched life that she was pinned in, but she would also be able to leave behind an interesting story to tell. “I’m sorry, Sarah! Please, don’t do it!” He choked on the last words, presumably because of tears.
There would be no happily ever after for Sarah. Instead, there would be a resounding…
“The End.” Sarah kicked off of the stool.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is an awfully calm way to go about starting what appears to be one of the more horrifying incidents that you can run into here. Its a very interesting almost cynical approach to the whole idea and I honestly don't quite know what to say here. There's something about this that both makes it seem hard to believe this person is up there doing this but at the same time these thoughts also paint a very telling picture of how it could have lead to this.
I love the way this part pans out here. Adding in that surprise addition there that takes even our character by surprise just to showcase the stakes here. Its a very odd situation where it almost seems the person about to die here is having the slightly better end of the deal even though it clearly isn't. I think it lends a lot more to the scene to come here.
Well that is a very powerful end right there. I think you've done quite nicely in nailing this position where somehow the person about to die has the moment of power there and even though its very much a sad ending, it feels like they get that one final laugh. It definitely leaves you with a lot of thinking to do.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
There are few to no errors.
This absolutely blew me away. Sarah is amazingly human, and a bit crazy. the style in which you wrote this was fantastic!
And....
(drum roll please)
THE ENDING! Was more than amazing. i knew it was coming since she started talking bout how they would find her, but it just knocked the wind outta me.
Just wow.
Amazing work, well done!
-Tiffany