Silver eyes and silver chariot,you are keeper of the heavens and keeper of the hunt,
A moon goddess who's fallen comrades guard the skies and the earth,
you roam free for no one holds you and you do this for you are Artemis.
This is a very short poem so this'll be a relatively short review lol. Well first off, I've got to say I love Artemis and I haven't seen a poem about her yet so I'm glad you wrote this. "chariot,you are keeper" Well in this line there is just a typo, you forgot a space between the chariot, you, and the comma. This poem is very straight to the point but I really like your word choices, when you said, "Silver eyes and Silver chariot" I liked that line because it just sort of emphasizes who she is. It sort of gives a clue as well because we associate silver with the moon and Artemis driving the chariot to move the moon. I'm not sure what you meant by fallen comrades but you meant some gods I know for sure. But this poem overall is really short and sweet. It'd be interesting to see what you would write for Selene or even Apollo or Helios. Well goodluck and I hope you write more poems Also thanks for the review.
Hi chidofApollo777, I agree with Harry, you should add more sentences. But, I like the start. You probably like Greek Mythology like me. If I you have a diverse understanding I would encourage you to keep on writing based on mythology. Great start, though! DM if you need some info on Greek Mythology.
Hi Harry here for a review: OK first off I would add way more than just a few sentences. It kind of looks like you don't want to write, but that shows that you are wrong. If you love to write don't be afraid to dig deeper and find more ideas, I know that keeping a writers journal helps. And don't worry it is not a diary, just write down what you love and what words you like. I get some of my ideas from dreams so if you have a dream you like or fear just write it down. When you get writers block this helps a lot. And another thing, you don't explain what she looks like or who she is, that would help add more detail to your writing and people will see what you see. And also why does she guard the skies and earth, was it her choice or was it someone else who completely forced her too? explain detail who she is and what her fallen comrades look like and why they had fallen in the first place. Other than that good Poem and Keep up the good work. Happy Writing:)
Hey there childofApollo777. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without further ado let the reviewing begin.1. For this poem, you certainly chose an interesting figure of Greek mythology. There were a few mistakes that I saw grammar wise that will be simply fixed. -First off, you need a space between the comma after chariot and before you. This was probably just a simple typo, but it threw me off at first.-Second, the last part of line 3.
and you do this for you are Artemis
and you do this, for you are Artemis.
Silver eyes and silver chariot,(Pause here and split the lines)You are keeper of the heavens and keeper of the hunt,
@Artemis28 @artemis15c have you seen this? @childofApollo777 2 users on YWS are named Artemis, so they'd probably be pleased to see this!
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