Qualm Meadows Chapter 4

Seconds after Gloria Gold entered the Evans’ home

10066 Alpine & Turquoise Ln

It seems like you're writing a play, cause that's not how you write in a novel...Maybe you should tell us that in a line, not like a separate informative lines.

Gerald Kelly’s hound was still barking when the sound of the front door slamming snatched Carter from his dreams of bullets and werewolves.

1. Put comma between slamming and snatched.
2. Carter from his dreams which had bullets and werewolves. (maybe use of 'which had' instead of 'of' sounds better.)

The sensation dissolved upon his wakening

Loved this line. =)

*Told you to let me review the first chap first. I don't know who's Gerald Kelly, Carter and Junior.

Already clothed in a new pair of denim shorts and a red t-shirt, Junior watched until Carter pulled himself from bed. Carter grunted his way pass his baby brother and ambled into the hallway half asleep. “Where’s the bathroom?” The still exhausted youth asked behind sleep shaded eyes; after checking a closet, the A/C cabinet, and Brylla’s room.

1. Carter grunted his way past his baby brother and ambled into the hallway half asleep.
2. Give space between the dialogue line and the already clothed line.

*Like this :-

Already clothed in a new pair of denim shorts and a red t-shirt, Junior watched until Carter pulled himself from bed. Carter grunted his way pass his baby brother and ambled into the hallway half asleep.

“Where’s the bathroom?” The still exhausted youth asked behind sleep shaded eyes; after checking a closet, the A/C cabinet, and Brylla’s room.

Junior motioned, as he opened Joshua’s bedroom door, adjacent from Carter’s bedroom door.

I think it should be 'adjacent to Carter's bedroom door.'

but those voids were filled with an entirely new prospective of success that began with is very own truck.

This sentence was going good until something disturbed the flow for me. Of course, I'm sure it might've missed your eye but that happens to the best of us.

*Instead of 'is very own truck', there should be 'his very own truck'.

Freshly fried bacon, butterfly sausage links, honeyed biscuits, caramelized onion grits, and the coupled scent of Island spiced rum coffee met Joshua’s nose completely distilled with thanks to fresh air of Qualm Meadows.

It is good and I think it works better without 'thanks to fresh air of'..it's disturbing the flow, instead write 'distilled with fresh air of Qualm Meadows'. It works fine and better without 'thanks to'.

I'm confused about the characters, since I haven't read the previous chaps..I don't know why there are so many people in one house..are they all brothers and sisters? Qualm Meadows is the place were there live, right?

I'm not continuing the review, for I want your word on it. Since we had a lot of argument, I want to know if you want me continue the review or not. I've tried to keep it good while pointing out stuff..it's short and thorough, a few paras..hope my review helped.