Young Writers Society

I love 1D! Therefore, I love this story! Keep up the good work! I wonder if you could have given more background on the story.

Hello! great little story! i just love One Direction and enjoy it when people create all kinds of stories about their adventures they would love to have with them. you had me smiling the whole time i read this. the only thing i would change is the part at the beginning where she apologizes for being excited. it was a bit random and you could have added a little more freak out before she stopped and apologized to the reader for over doing it. Other than that i love the idea. i really hope you do more with it in the future because i would love to see what else you can do with this story. i would have liked more detail just because i'm a huge detail person. i know some writers like for the reader to be able to have their own vision of the story they are experiencing, but it never hurts to describe a person, a scenery, or small things that the people are doing at the time, such as while she is speaking to them, she might be fidgeting or playing with her hair because she is so nervous. or hiding her face because she is crying and doesn't want her idols to see her freaking out.
you are great! i might read some of your other stuff later if i have the time. Happy writing and good luck on all your amazing works!!

Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! Happy Review Day! Let's see what we have here!

This is a really short Short story. XD I am personally not a fan of One Direction. (If @Wolfare1 finds out that I'm reviewing this she's gonna kill me) This is exactly how someone would react to their favorite band letting them go into their helicopter because it just never happens. Though, this person is rather calm for freaking out on the inside but you got to look cool for your favorite people. Your categories are spot on. The voices for the characters are just ringing in my head at this point. You did a great job of writing how they should sound like. I would assume that the character's favorite is Harry? (For some reason Harry is the only one that I hear about in anything). I would think that another good ending for this could just be her fainting from excitement. It happens... Your grammar and spelling are great. I have to say that it's pure luck that the girl got that ticket. If this happened in real life, I would be jealous, even though I don't really like One Direction. Overall, you did a great job. I feel that is this so acurate that I could post it on a fandom website for One Direction and say that this happened to me and then there would be like 100000000 people! Have a nice review day! Keep Calm and Keep Writing!

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Hi ccwritingrainbow!

Nice to meet you! My name is Solvy and I will be reviewing for you today.

I will start off saying that I don't know much about One Direction (with the exception of that one song that was playing everywhere around a year ago, xD). So I may not be able to help much. But I will do my best by getting to the point. What do I see here? I ask myself. Dialogue? Small talk, I reply. Honestly, that's all I see here. Hm. To me, this sounds more like a day-dream someone wrote on their journal than fan-fiction.

If I were to make fan-fiction, I would use the knowledge I got of the main characters to reflect not only my admiration for them, but also who and how they are, too! For example here: "Are you Jodie?" asks Niall Horan." That's what Niall said, but what would he do? How would he act? Is there some phrase he always says that could be used here? If I were a One Direction fan, I would be pleased to see you bring the idea you have of Niall Horan to live! And I would also like to see you've kept it real.

That's actually a suggestion that could help for fan-fiction and fiction both, actually. Give your characters some personality! Express... what you would like a non-fan to know about these guys. Convince me they're cool and awesome! Hahah xD

That's all I've got to say!!

Your friendly neighbor,

GeeLyria

'"Oh yeah," I lie' - there should be a comma between 'oh' and 'yeah'.

'Maybe you should go in, your eyes will be better.' - this should be either two separate sentences or the comma should be a semi-colon.

What I really like about this is that you are being so fangirly. There are a lot of places, I've learned, where fangirling is not ideal. A short story about meeting your idols is probably not one of them. This is where you let loose and I appreciate that there is a place to do that.

This is a very sweet piece. Like, it doesn't try to hard to be incredible. It just describes the sheer joy you feel about One Direction. And I like sheer joy. Sheer joy might not be deep and meaningful and there might be lots of bad things in the world, but it's nice to know that somewhere there is absolute elation.

Sometimes your protagonist has thoughts that I think should probably be in italics and separated from the rest by a paragraph break. Also, maybe add some conflict at the start that resulted in her almost not making it. Maybe a car could break down on the way there or something? I just think it would make the reader more invested in her when she met 1D.

Also, that section where you had each of them say one thing felt vaguely poetic and believe me, that is not easy to do when you're busy fangirling.

Well done!