This is the story of every girl
On earth like me.
Waiting to be loved once by some man
Who treats her like emeralds and rubies.
She had millions of affairs
Nothing but mere
Objects and fakers
And everytime she was left broken.
.
But her beauty and dare
Were beyond compare
No sunflowers and dewdrops.
Out of anguish one day
She surrendered herself to whatever fate does.
.
Now she's a golden metaphor
She talks like violins
And shines like sun.
She's like chocolate and caramel
And now they want her to be theirs
But she won't even care
She is never going back to life.
.
And still her beauty and dare
Were beyond compare
No marigolds, musk roses & angels.
She is a goddess imprisoned in heavens.
- Cavalin
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I would like to begin that this poem has a great tone and how you use different similes to describe the woman. the tone of this poem is like a prayer for a beautiful wife/woman in this person's life. They beg and they plead for a woman since they are alone and need someone to love. Also I feel like most woman in the world could relate since they think when they someone one TV, someone with a perfect body, they think that they should try harder at what they are doing when really these woman we see today, are just fake people in a store window.
The similes you use in this poem is an A+ since you describe as something like chocolate and caramel which adds some imagery to the readers who read this. i imagine a woman with brown silky hair, dancing around in a white dress and then going to see other men behind those men's back. She is also a vixen to those she wants to be to and how her beauty could blind a poor man, not by looking at her.
I enjoyed this poem very much!
CapitalMonday
I don't care about the grammar issues.

I just love this poem. Especially this line:
"She talks like violins"
Just focus on your subject (Like you did in this one)
Heaps of best wishes.....
Urba
Thanks a ton dear Urba
I really like this poem, one of my favorite. I can kind of compare to this but its just that i'm a boy... yeah... But still I do love this poem and hope to see more from you in the future. Oh, and if there where any grammar issues I didn't see any, well, from my eyes, and if there where any I wouldn't want to point that out, like I said before, I don't want to accidentally hurt anyone's feelings :3
I really loved your poem. There was some grammar issues though. One thing that you can do is instead of using the symbol & please use the word.
No sunflowers & dewdrops.
Out of anguish one day
Shesurrendered herself to whatever fate does.
You need to put a space in-between She and Surrendered. Another thing is that you need to fix the space right before Out.
Your Friend,
RosePetal8965
Thank you
And I fixed the spacing errors and the ampersand too. Thanks for mentioning it out 
Interesting idea you have here. I don't want to complain about the theme or pacing of the poem because I think it's solid enough already, but there are a few grammar issues I would like to bring up.
Multiple times, you use the & symbol instead of the word 'and'. I think you should use the actual word. Poets are word artists, after all.
I think you need to put a space between 'she' and 'surrendered'.
I do think you repeat yourself near the end. You say her beauty and dare were beyond compare twice, and I'm not sure why. You have an opportunity to add more detail, more words, instead of reusing the old ones. Go for it!
Sincerely, Firepower
Thank you Fire Power 13, for the kind suggestions. I appreciate it friend