Chapter 1: Evolution
Billions of years have passed since the formation of this magnificent universe. Our universe is a web - interlinked package that survives because of another one and that another one survives because of that one. It’s such a big complex place to live but still the human species survived all destruction and now has conquered a planet. He is now in search of another to rule and destroy for his hunger and thirst.
It was not easy at the beginning for him to thrive in this strange planet where all he saw was different, distinct and strange.
His birth is unknown but the mud, water; air around us was formed in the nucleus of a star. When it neared its end, the supernova, it burst and scattered these elements leading to the formation of everything and anything above and below us and the one in between too.
We began as threads in a bubble (I mean the DNA in a nucleus with a nuclear membrane) and evolved to different levels of the organism. The tiny bubble became a cell and then a tissue. It developed a coelom. The hollow tube extended and made way for organs. They were all fixed onto the ground. Now, it began to swim. Slowly, the swimming things began to breathe out of water and became reptiles. They rose up and gave the diversity of animals on land.
The Homo sapiens were very advanced as compared to anything else. They did not know that they were going to be the kings of the strange world around them.
Evolution is the change that happens in whatever you do, wherever you are and in every aspect of life . It’s the mother of the present world. It’s not an hour’s class of science or hundred pages of a textbook. It’s a change that determines the life of everything and anything from nanometer bacteria to the huge fungus. The changes in the mankind bought him the so called the sixth sense without which he wouldn’t have survived the disasters of the universe. There had been, is being and will be many changes due to evolution. It’s a process that does not end until all living organism cease to exist.
Evolution brings change but not all changes are good…. Are they?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay..this is a pretty epic opening paragraph here to this first chapter. There's a real sense of scale going on here, with talks of universes and planets and the human species as a whole..it certainly captures your attention quite quickly here and holds it there quite well. It makes for a pretty solid and rather mysterious start especially in the last few lines. The one issue I have if any is the sudden switch to a "he" which kind of seems to refer to humanity as a whole but also sounds like it could just be one person...and that's a bit of confusion you don't really need to have in the very first paragraph, so I'd suggest a bit of a rethink there.
Soo this here appears to be some sort of tangent on the evolution of how life came to be on Earth, so that is a tiny bit disconnected from the other part here, I feel like this isn't quite as connected to the opening paragraph as it should ne not to mention the sudden comment included there which happens to be in first person also breaks the flow somewhat and puts into question exactly what the point of view you're going for here is. You've really gotta take a second look there.
Oooh, I do like where this eventually ended up concluding on though, you go right up to the evolution of the humans species and then mention them going that one extra step beyond what most species did which enabled thing to live through some kind of universal disaster and left them as the rulers of it...and it appears the ending is trying to ask how...perhaps the evolution that lead to humans being this powerful isn't quite so good after all suggesting some potentially bad things being done by the humans. Overall, there's a few issues sprinkled in there, but for the most part this is a very solid first chapter that you've got right here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Well, Evolution's not my favorite topic, if taken in a literal scientific manner. But as for what I could understand from your writing is that you also hinted towards the 'evolution' that is present and observed everyday. That, I LIKED. The little changes we subject to our lives, ourselves to either end up being more human or more inhuman. This actually, identifies true evolution. Which isn't of body but mind and character. Nicely, put.
The use of is being is a little odd here. Do you think, you could replace it with something more apt?
True.
Fine piece of prose.
thanks for you comment! I had a big doubt whether to end with a question or not. You cleared it! I really love science and I have made my own ideologies and hypothesis. My favorite one is evolution.
I love how you end the chapter with a question?
Other things i would like to comment on were these:
Since it signifies a species, italicize the words "homo sapiens"
Also the evolution definition, is unique. Did you come up with it?
Thanks! I am a bit bad at grammar!
Well, i love the theory of evolution. First of all,
I prefer it to read, Billions of years have passedNotice that the word into is not fit in the sentence.
Overall, you did a really good job putting evolution in words. If i am not mistaken, you touched the idea of The Big Bang.
So, keep up the good work.