z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Empty

by catapparently


So much paper, so many pens

So many notebooks, lines, and squares.

So much I want to say,

So little words I have.

I feel it all and I knew them all-

Yet I let it all get in my way.

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211 Reviews

Points: 23158
Reviews: 211

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Sat Dec 23, 2023 5:40 am
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OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...



Hi there! I'm Orabella, here with a review. ^^

What an interesting poem! I love how much is left to interpretation and imagination. Such a short poems have lots of questions left unanswered, which keeps the reader thinking about it long after!

I like the repetition of the word, "so." It greater defines how much or many there is of a thing or thought, with "so" literally being said many times!

Your first two lines describe a place where things are written down, and the next two describe more about them without actually saying they don't have anything written in them, which I think is really clever. "So little words" refers to the notebooks having nothing in them, if my guess is correct? It personally makes me think of my own stack of blank notebooks in my house. XD

I love the ending. The fact that "feel" is present tense and "knew" is past tense makes me think that the narrator can still feel the things from a while ago, and that they thought they knew "them", but they didn't really? Or am I digging too deep into this?

The last line is interesting, although I wonder exactly what it means? In your way of what? Is it literal, where it got in the way of writing? Or is it more metaphorical? And what exactly got in their way? Was it feeling in and knowing them? Or something outside of the poem?

Is the title "Empty" referring to the state of the notebooks? Or is it referring to the feelings of the narrator?

That was a lot of questions, none of which you have to answer. That's just me being speculative, I suppose. :)

Although it was very short, I really enjoyed reading this! I hope you'll write more?

Let me know if there's anything I can do for you, and please keep writing!

Have an amazing day/night. :D




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210 Reviews

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Sat Dec 23, 2023 2:38 am
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Hello @catapparently
love your username :D ellie here for a quick little review of your lovely poem! Let's jump right into it!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know

Lets begin with my interpretation and my impressions.

This poem starts of strong:

So much paper, so many pens

So many notebooks, lines, and squares.


i sense that the writer is using writing as an outlet for how they feel. they go through so much paper and pens trying to get it all down.

So much I want to say,

So little words I have.


this shows me that the writer feels as if they are not able to adequately express how they feel through what they have written. i sense that desire to get it down on the page and to be able to summarize how they feel, but the frustration associated with this inability too.

I feel it all and I knew them all-

Yet I let it all get in my way.


the writer is full of emotuon that they want to express. it seems that they are letting these feelings get in the way of them expressing themself, which i can imagine feels incredible overwhelming.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements

my only critique would be for you to add more descriptive words to help set the scene. even if you dont want to describe a location, you can still use more words to describe feelings. i do love how well you conveyed emotions throuhg these non-descriptive words though!!!!

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece

I love the repetition of the word so in the first four lines! it gives me a sense of the writers overwhelmed emotions and how they feel like they are trying their best but still falling short!

i also love how this line flows!

I feel it all and I knew them all-


Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts

this was lovely!! have a great night.

ellie mae






Hi there! I'm really thankful for your review, it's really encouraging and it made me happy to read. You absolutely NAILED the interpretation and impressions. I wrote this on whim, very frustrated after I tried to write another poem that didn't end up conveying what I meant at all. I'll keep in mind adding descriptive words, I do see that it could have added so much more to my poem.

Thank you so much!

Cat




[as a roleplayer is feeling sad about torturing her characters] GrandWild: "You're a writer, dear. Embrace it."
— GrandWild