Published October 22, 2007
Umm... this is my first posting so I'm not too sure what to do. I just decided to post the first page of one of the stories i was writing to see what would happen. So just read it and let me know what you think. Thanx
[pre]Chapter 1
Finely powdered snow shoots into the clear night sky like fireworks, scooped up by the mighty paws of a misunderstood nightmare. A fresh, winding trail of paw prints defy secrecy, imprinted crisply in a blanket of newborn snow. A wise barn owl with speckled plumage sounds his call from the shadows of an old pine tree, ringing through the clear night air and startling the twinkling stars. The echoing sound lingers only for a moment before fading into the distance.
Large furry ears swivel forward and golden amber eyes glow mystically as the silver furred wolf lifts his snow-strewn muzzle towards the enchanting moon.
A beautiful symphony of sound rises with the swirling wind and is carried upward as if an offering to the moon. Each individual note is clear and strong, the mourning sadness of the song is evident. The ghostly howl echoes through the forest, ricocheting off snow burdened pine trees.
* * *
At the other end of the forest, a fourteen-year-old boy named Skye Evans was wandering through the underbrush in search of the den he had made for himself two years ago when his family had first moved to Wyoming from Washington. He looked up in surprise when he heard the howl, and then bit down hard on his lip to keep from crying and tried to forget what he had just escaped from.
Since they had moved, his mother and father had begun fighting. It was usually little things that set them off but when they did, the house was in uproar. His mother hadn’t wanted to move from Washington because she had a good job and she lived close to her sister. His father always wanted to see new places and Skye’s family moved so ...[/pre]
again, this is just the first page. I have more, but I wanted to see how things work first. thanx for reading 
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141,651 Literary Works • 675,339 Reviews
HI!
First off, I really liked this. Before I get into line by line things, I was going to ask if you have seen my contest. I think that this piece would be a perfect entry. If you feel like entering, just go ahead and post the link on my contest. I think the link to the page is in my siggy. Anyway, back to the review.
You have excelent descriptions, and really really good imagery. I found the ending slightly disappointing however; it felt like you were building up to nothing. The first part was very good, but in the second there is a lot of info drop, and the ending isn't really satisfying. I really can't wait to see how this plays out.
PM me with queries or comments.
First of all, it is polite and part of the rules to critique at least two pieces of writing before posting your own. And even then, you should try to keep you ratio to 2:1.
As for a review, you have nice imagery. There wasn't any mistakes that I could see, but it was weak. Your writing didn't make me want to beg you to post more. The ending made me think, so why should I care? You need to make your reader feel for the character, not questions why they're reading it.
Again, please review at least two other pieces of writing.