Depredation of Nightmares Chapter 8

*Muahaha*
Now that I've been un-grounded, I can catch up with you on this.

Which I could do, I reminded myself, If I was a werecat.

About the size of a football field, littered with colorful leaves that were being trampled into paths the more we walked on them.

This is really good!

I finally have that explanation of background that I've been pining for for the last few chapters.

cat4prowl wrote:Well this is great, the whole day with Popsicle Man and Mr. Sunshine! Yay.

cat4prowls wrote:He looked at me sideways, then sped up to walk in between Lathan and I, his hands jammed into his pockets.

cat4prowl wrote:My hands clenched into fists, heated anger crept up my neck, my eyes blurred, I bit down hard on my lip.

cat4prowl wrote:I stole a glance ahead of me, then quickly rubbed my eyes to prevent the tears from leaking over and blinked.

cat4prowl wrote:[s]However[/s], it was warmer inside and I was, after all, hungry.

Well done! Honestly....wow...your writing keeps me guessing.

Keep up the good work!

P.s. One of the only reasons I get on YWS anymore is to read your stories...

~Spirit

bigbad, what would i do without you? XD well i edited it thx!! okay now to defend (jk i mean explain) the reasons for the way i wrote.

aftereffect is indeed a word, i looked it up. *feels smart*

Now for Rhigos character justification. The reason he accepted her snappish explanation is that he has taken a dislike to coden and knows this will annoy her. but that is just the small explanation; he is also a little preoccupied by what Rourke and him were fighting about and as they all came in at a bad time, he wanted a chance to think it over and just try to come up with a solution to his problem. i thought it would add a little more depth to his character(a tiny bit) seeing as so far he's basically an icy rock.

so those are my reasons arent they great? thx so much for critiquing!

.....

OMG! This was amazing! I love this story! It's so well written and...and...and...well, here is a big critique 'cause you made a few mistakes:

Chapter 8
Oh well I see werecats are full of moral and ethical values! I had my doubts before but oh no, it seems I was wrong! I thought wryly to myself, fuming. I glared at Lathan out of the corner of my eye.

He was smiling, a cold, hard, cruel smile that made me want to rip him limb from limb. Which I could do, I reminded myself, If I was a werecat.

No! Bad idea!

I shook my head, trying to fling emotion from me as snow from my coat, my werecat coat. It wasn’t working.

Rhigos was watching the conflict in my eyes, I could tell. He was smiling in a self-satisfied way. I angered at his expression, and I knew he saw it in my eyes.

“Let’s get this over with,” I growled, standing up.

Rhigos nodded, the same satisfaction still fixed on his face, “Let’s. Your first training session will be simple, but don’t get used to it. Your task is simply to explore the perimeter of our territory, together. One of the many mistakes werecats tend to make are turning on each other and getting lost. Therefore, you will spend the entire day prowling the perimeter in a pack.”

…prowling the perimeter in a pack… that’s a lot of ‘p’s.

This was my favorite line!!!

Rhigos stood up and motioned toward the door, “You will start by Llewellyn’s cabin and walk out to the edge. From there, I want you to trace the line between the forest and civilization, taking note of your surroundings. Good luck.”

I stomped out of the room and into the hall. “Ugh!” I growled, and punched the wall a couple of times. Ow.

I turned back to Lathan and Stryder; Lathan was wearing his signature ‘I hate the world’ look and Stryder one of his half-amused, good-natured ones.

Well this is great, the whole day with Popsicle Man and Mr. Sunshine! Yay.

*bursts out laughing*

“Let’s go then!” announced Stryder cheerfully, seeming oblivious to our bad moods.

I rolled my eyes but joined the group when Lathan glided icily out in front, followed by a grinning Stryder.

I glanced back at the camp, trying to memorize it. About the size of a football field, littered with colorful leaves that were being trampled into paths the more we walked on them. I scrutinized the dull, auburn, square buildings sprawled seemingly randomly across the clearing, crammed together so that none was more than ten feet from each other, the way the tall pine trees faded naturally into the clearing but visibly thickened into a dizzying array of sameness. I wondered if we would get lost and never see it again. With my luck… probably.

When I looked back towards my group, Lathan was regarding me with a cold impatience and Stryder, when he caught my eye, gestured eagerly for me to follow. I trudged forward, glancing at the trees every once in a while. They all seemed to be evergreens, which meant we were probably somewhere in the Midwest.

Wait… probably! Why didn’t I know exactly where I was, I had lived here for… for… crap.

“Stryder!” I whispered.

He seemed pleased that I was talking to him, which annoyed me, and dropped back to walk by me, “Yeah?”

“Do you remember your human life?”

He didn’t seem to catch the desperate tone in my voice, “Of course I do!” Then he looked confused, “Don’t you?”

“No,” I realized slowly, whispering the word. What was wrong with me?!
He jerked his head in controlled shock, “That’s… weird…hmm. You’re a very strange person, you know that?”

I was too scared to glare at him, “I don’t know. I’m a strange werecat, but person…? What was I as a person?” I hadn’t meant to say that part aloud.

I could remember… what I looked like, I had remembered that at the asylum with Rourke… my impatience, I had recalled that when Rourke asked. It was like my personal connections had been cut, leaving a blank page behind me that retained only personality and basic knowledge like speech and motor skills.

Stryder walked a little closer to me, his shoulder brushing mine. Perhaps he meant the physical contact to comfort me, but I twitched away. He looked at me sideways, then sped up to walk in between Lathan and I, his hands jammed into his pockets.

My hands clenched into fists, heated anger crept up my neck, my eyes blurred, I bit down hard on my lip. Why did this always happen to me?! Couldn’t I get a break just once?! I loosened the hold on my lower lip and clenched my jaw instead, then I slowly unclenched my fists and breathed deeply.

Self-control was important now, if nothing else. I couldn’t transform, not now. I wanted to, instinct told me to but I couldn’t. My motives were simple and if nothing else, effective: the aftereffect…

is aftereffect even a word? Maybe that was a typo...i don't know.

I stole a glance ahead of me, then quickly rubbed my eyes to prevent the tears from leaking over and blinked.

Well if life had decided to hit me over the head with a club, I decided, with equal determination, to totally ignore it.

This should be, "Well, if life"

Reluctantly, I called for Stryder again; he came warily, “Yeah?”

“Sorry about… earlier,” I looked away then back again, “Anyways, where are we?”

He regained his good mood easily, “In Wyoming, in the Grand Teton National Park right next to Jackson which is… right over there, look!”

He pointed ahead of us and it seemed we had reached the edge of the forest. Jackson was slightly upscale in a rustic way, like a cowboy town turned fancy. It was on extremely flat and enclosed on nearly all sides by mountains.

“Why is the entire werecat population living in a national park?” I asked Stryder.

“Well, the entire werecat population is not near as many as you would think, probably because we can only ‘reproduce’ during a full moon and then we’re always fighting amongst ourselves. But don’t worry; we’re in a very secluded part. Tourists rarely come near us.”

I nodded slowly, “Risky, isn’t it?”

“Well, that usually doesn’t bother us,” he grinned recklessly.

I couldn’t help smiling, even if it was only a small one.

“Yes,” Lathan’s cruel sneer interrupted, “This is all very fascinating but we better get going if we’re going to get all the way around.”

“Are we going all the way around the park?” I asked in alarm.

Stryder opened his mouth to answer but Lathan beat him to it, “No of course not, just the south end. Now will you two shut up?”

comma after No.

He turned around and started walking the perimeter; Stryder stuck his tongue out at the back of Lathan’s head.

We fell into line and I was officially confused. Stryder isn’t really a bad guy, I would think, but then he would smile and that aggravating perfection would crawl under my skin and I would be determined to ignore him. The hard part was that his overfriendly nature would suddenly prompt him to try to entice either Lathan or I in conversation. We ignored him, though he made it hard.

Lathan seemed to be determined to be perfect in Rhigos’ eyes. He stopped at any worthy landmark and pulled out a compass. He would then check the direction, plot some numbers on his map(where the heck did he get everything?), la di da and make us memorize the information. There was a large fallen log and a brook he christened ‘Fallen Creek’, which was southwest of camp about ten yards in from the border. We stopped at ‘Four Trees’ (creative name I know) which was west of camp about two yards in. ‘Boulder Hill’ spanned from northwest to north and was inside the park, just under the southern part. ‘Oak Tree’ was the only oak we found, was quite close to camp, about fifty yards north. Blah, blah, blah…

I loved this whole paragraph!

“Goody two-shoes,” I muttered under my breath as Lord of the Land plotted yet another stupid rock, or maybe it was a tree.

He whirled on me, his infuriated face oddly smooth, his ice eyes bore into me, “What did you call me?”

“Goody two-shoes,” I enunciated, using my ‘are you deaf?’ tone.

His breath came faster against my face but I refused to give him satisfaction by backing down. Then he smiled and backed up, uttering a warning in a cool detached voice “Watch your back.”

“Why, you can’t face me full on?” I breathed, baiting him.

His eyes flared then cooled suddenly, he gave me a small smile and continued our route. We waited for a little while then followed.

Stryder gave me his perfect smile and whispered, “Nice.”

I looked away coolly, ignoring him and biting my lip again. He was so annoyingly perfect! Ugh.

We finished our stupid patrol at about three o’clock, according to Lathan. He seemed eager to report to Rhigos. We retraced our steps back to camp, arrived at about three thirty, and followed the beaten path to Rhigos’ office.
When we opened the door to his office, he was having a heated discussion with Rourke.

“I told you! I…” Rourke was saying, then he saw us.

Awesome. I can't wait to find out what they were arguing about!!!

“Welcome apprentices,” Rhigos breathed coolly, “Do come in. Mr. Wooten was just leaving.”

Rourke glared at him, “We shall speak again soon Rhigos.” The he left, giving me a small smile as he passed.

“Stubborn…” Rhigos muttered, then turned his attention to us, “Well, what do you have to show me Lathan?”

Lathan presented his map, which Rhigos scanned thoroughly. Then he nodded, “You have done well. Tell me something you noticed about this area.”

“The trees are green and it’s cold,” I snapped sarcastically but Rhigos seemed pleased.

“Simply put, yes. Evergreen trees are prominent and the climate is cold. Well done. You are dismissed, you have the rest of the day off.”

Ok, I'm sorry to tell you that this was like...so not Rhigos character...I think. Didn't you say that he was supposed to be strict? I don't think that just a simple answer like that would let them go. I mean, if he wanted them to scout the whole area (and it took a while) a little answer like that wouldn't be satisfactory.

And just like that, we were outside again.

“You guys wanna’ head down to the Chow Hall?” Stryder grinned, nodding towards a building; you’ll never guess but it was brown and square.

However, it was warmer inside and I was, after all, hungry. Perhaps the other apprentices would be there too.

I nodded and he absolutely beamed, which made me instantly regret my decision.

My stomach grumbled though so I hurried over. Inside, it was warm and large, lined with tables, and there at the other end, was the food line Turns out half the teenage werecat population was at the Chow Hall, which might signify something. But dang that food smelled goood…

We all ate with horrible manners too, excluding Lathan who was simply calm and cool in everything he did. I found Rheeba, and Stryder tagged along too; which stemmed the word flow from Rheeba’s usually unstoppable mouth. Ray joined us and soon we were surrounded by laughter and noise. I watched Rheeba gazing at Stryder in adoration and bit angrily into my chicken.

But, for the first time since I had been bitten I felt like part of a pack(though I may have felt it before, I don’t know). The thought ignited a deep contentment and somehow pleased me more than it should have.