Published November 19, 2006
Dear Mom,
I can’t come home,
Not yet,
And I know you’re angry at me
For just taking off
Like I did,
But I swear, Mom,
I’m working things out,
Like you said I should,
And I love you very much,
Never doubt that.
I won’t tell you where I am,
But it’s nice here,
Warm and full of people
Who don’t judge me
For the past.
Tell Lena I love her,
And Dad too,
And take Bailey for a walk for me,
But don’t tell them
I sent this letter,
Because I don’t want them to cry.
I just hope you know, Mom,
That I love you
Like I always have,
No matter where I am,
And I miss you.
See you soon, Mom.
Love, me.
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The overuse of commas and the list format is wearing on the eyes. The format is indicative that this is neither a letter nor a poem, but rather a cluster of inane words slapped onto a page. Perhaps if you organized this into something legible it would be worth reading. Cheers,
Cameron
I think its a letter and a poem. Its written in poetic form, and its reaaly good. I love it!
You said it yourself: "I sent this letter".
This is a letter, not a poem.
Try using some actual poetic elements when you write...it may give you something worthwhile.
Good luck,
Meg