He's there he's there
I feel him everywhere
I want to run
Coz' I just know i just know
They say look around
theres no one to be found
But they dont know
They just dont know
That the bad mans coming around
He'll scare us out of this town
When the bad man comes to town
I said the bad mans coming around
He'll scare us out of this town
When the bad man comes around
They say relax relax
No one will attack
But im sure ive seen this all before
All before
Why i fear
Only I can hear
I dont know i just dont know
In my house
Im hiding like a mouse
But im sure ive seen this all before
All before
I know for sure
That the bad mans coming around
He'll scare us out of this towm
when the bad man comes to town
I said the bad mans coming around
He'll scare us out of this town
When the bad man comes around
He came, they fled
I knew they would regret
They would regret
So im here alone
With no one to behold
What happened here
Ill never know ill never know
I guess the bad man came around
he scared them out of this town
When the bad man came around
He took this town, he took this town x2
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
who's the bad man and what's he going to do?
Fix those, and It would be great ^-^
Alrighty then. First things first: as popatemyheart1994 already pointed out, you have a lot of spelling mistakes. Coupled with the spacing (which I will cover in a bit more depth a little later), this made these lyrics difficult to read and understand. And that you have no punctuation at all made things even more difficult.
The spelling is an easy fix, and so all I will say on the matter is: fix it.
As far as spacing is concerned, there is no way to tell where one verse ends and the other begins. This is because every line has a space in between separating it from the next. The lack of clear verse endings/beginnings made finding the flow of this song very difficult to find. I suggest you go back and reformat this, grouping lines that are in the same verse while putting an extra space in between verses to separate them. For example:
Doing so will make these lyrics much easier to read.
As for punctuation, you need it. Badly. I've included some punctuation suggestions using the first two (or what seems to be) verses below. Corrections are in bold.
The words (in parentheses) are echoes. You can take them out if you wish. In any case, I think you'll agree that the above is much easier to read and understand.
I love the idea! It's a bit weird but aI love it. You make me laugh honestly! I like what you've got here, but looking at it I can see loads of spelling mistakes
. Be careful wen you post the poem you are careful with the structure because it reads like one continuous flow of verse.
#0040FF ">I loved the idea of the song, I loved some of your snappy lines, but I feel like you need to slow down when writing and go over it because the flow sounded a little off. All in all I loved the song and I can't wait to read more. From this I can tell you have talent and you should definitly strive with this because I have faith you will make a great song-writer!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMuch Love Pop!!!!