Young Writers Society

Hello Hello, It seems we have a bunch of new members welcome I hope you enjoy your time here. First off I just want to say I love the mood you put into this it toes the line between a sweet tender moment and a weary melancholy it works well. I don't want to pry into your life but it does seem like something you hold fondly I hope regardless of what happened, both of you are doing well.

I also just want to say I love the imagery mostly because I am a sucker for rich prose. The use of a peach and rotting gives a heavy impact and I love ending off with it. Not to mention the certain details you use like the origami show that this is based on your life and adds to the overall vividness.

The only thing I do have a question about is I don't understand if the lack of capitalization is meant for an effect or not. If it is then forgive me for not getting it on my first read.
Other than that keep up the work I enjoyed it stay hydrated and once again welcome.

Quite melancholic but i love how it's written and its flow!

Woahhhh, I myself, would say I’m quite the romantic but extremely shy and wow this really healed my inner romantic. DAMN THIS IS AMAZING, HONESTLY.
I love how you describe the boy/man and how he’s shown picking up the piece of ‘glass’ and the descriptions and metaphors are just *chef’s kiss*, utter perfection. I love the description of the “bruised fruit” too, it’s a unique approach and it’s really creative and I haven’t read it before which makes it even more unique and really out there! The line:
“His hands are bleeding and continue to do so while he holds me like a peach”
really hit deep too and made me smile like an idiot again, I love it when it’s adorable like this and one person is broken but too considerate and the other wants to help any way they can even risking themselves like so sweet. Overall, this made my day and I look forward to more!!!<3 Thx for reading! Have a good day/night!!!

Hey! I'm also new here but I sorta know my stuff. This is amazing poem. I threw this into a plagiarism checker like I do when I read others works and this is 100% original. I love how you put yourself as a "easily bruised fruit" It has a really amazing ending. I showed this to my grandma (a fellow poet) and she said that it was the most heart felt piece of poetry that she has read in year. (She's 62 btw) So take that as a compliment. Keep it up


Sorry If that sucked
-valentin3

have a good night/afternoon/day

Good morning, Cammy! Welcome to yws, always nice to see new faces here!! So, I loved this poem! It really spoke to me on so many levels. The imagery of hearts tied together with string and learning origami to bloom is so beautiful and relatable. But then it gets real with the talk about trauma and identity, like when it mentions shattered glass and bleeding hands. It's like feeling fragile but also strong at the same time. The part about being held "like a peach that is easily bruised" hit me hard—it's so vulnerable and real. And that ending! Wondering about self-worth and worrying about judgment—it's like looking in a mirror. Overall, your poem captures the highs and lows of love and life in such a raw and honest way, and I'm here for it! - 💘