Author's note: The Nephites were a group of people whose history is recorded in The Book of Mormon, which is another testament of Jesus Christ. This sacred book of scripture tells of Christ's visit to the Americas and the people who were among the first to inhabit the continent. The Nephites lived from 388 BC to 400 AD, and originally descended from a seer and prophet named Lehi who was told by God to leave take his family and leave their homeland of Jerusalem and travel to the promised land in America.
This and chapters yet to come will also include references to two groups known as the Lamanites and Gadianton robbers. These groups often persecuted and fought against the Nephites in numerous wars chronicled by other prophets throughout The Book of Mormon.
The following is a work of fiction, but it includes historical references to the ancient Nephite civilization that I have attempted to make as accurate as possible. All characters, unless noted, are thus fictional.
If you would like to learn more about the Nephites and Christ's visit to the Americas, you can request a free copy of The Book of Mormon by visiting http://www.mormon.org, as well as learn of Christ's teachings in our modern day.
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“Oh, how lovely was the morning…”
I couldn’t help but sing one of my favorite hymns quietly as I biked up the canyon path. For once, it was a particularly sunny day – not a cloud in the sky, a welcome sign that the long, miserable winter was coming to a much awaited end. I’d had the sudden urge to do something spontaneous and good for myself; meaning exercise. It was high time I got out of the apartment and did something productive, so I figured a short bike ride would do me some good. Thankfully the wind wasn’t blowing hard; it was just a nice breeze, and it wasn’t cold like it usually was. The Logan winter chill was infamous in this neighborhood.
I’d only been in the canyon once, a while ago with my roommates. Man, that had been a crazy night. We’d been sitting at home, bored to tears, when someone suggested we go on a drive to somewhere remote so we could roast marshmallow Peeps. Car stereo blaring and tires screeching, me and my crazy friends made it to the canyon in record time to commence roasting the sugar coated things (which I really doubt are actually marshmallows,) and getting creeped out by the nearby yiping of coyotes. The fact that it was pitch dark in the middle of the night made the ordeal even more frightening, but in a cool way.
Reminiscing on the amusing memory, I chuckled to myself and pedaled on, slowing down so I could enjoy the scenery.
And it was a good thing I did. Out of the blue, a startled three-point mule deer suddenly bolted out onto the road just a few yards in front of me.
“AAAAAAAaaaaaah!!-“
Pulling the handlebar brakes as tightly back as I could, my poor bike tires screeched in protest as I made a desperate attempt to avoid hitting the frightened animal. I swear I smelled the pungent odor of burning rubber. The deer sprinted off into the trees on the other side of the road unscathed, but I went tumbling head-over-bike onto the shoulder of the road, which was one of those road sections that aren’t totally developed. Instead of a gravel pit, the side of the road was nothing but a mess of bushes and brambles, and I quickly got tangled up in every scrap of shrubbery that I made contact with. My bike went flying off somewhere to my right. I heard a really loud smashing noise, and winced painfully. Great. NOW how was I supposed to get home.
But that predicament wasn’t the one on my mind – I was stuck in a thorn bush. Growling and holding back angry and pained tears, I struggled to free myself but was having little luck. Make that NO luck. “You…have GOT to be kidding me…” I moaned, cursing the stupid deer. Long thorns were so deeply embedded into my pants legs and jacket that the more I tried to get free, the more stuck I became. Crap. How bad could things get? And after I was having such a great start to my wonderfully rare sunny day…
I had just remembered that I had my pocketknife somewhere in my pocket and was reaching to fish it out when it started– the weirdest and most unnerving sound I’d ever heard. It was like…I can’t even describe it. A humming, screaming, and whistling noise all wrapped into one. It was high pitched and low pitched at the same time, causing weird vibrations that echoed inside my ears. I would have clapped my hands over them to block out the sound, if a certain thorn bush wasn’t holding them back. I looked around to see where the heck that noise was coming from and then screamed twice as loud as I had when the deer had ran out onto the road. Because a very sharp projectile was hurtling over my head, whistling through the air. There was a THUNK as whatever it was hit the tree behind me and stayed there.
Gulping, I craned my neck to see what had just nearly killed me. An arrow. A long wooden arrow tipped with exotically colored feathers, sticking out of a thickly trunked pine tree.
“Okay,” I stammered nervously. “What in the world is going ON…”
I turned back around to try to see if I could get to my pocketknife again. There was a rustling in the bushes ahead of me…so close I saw the branches move back and forth.
Someone was watching me.
And no doubt the SAME person who had almost shot me in the head, I realized. Panic seized my heart and I froze like a rigid block of ice, staring wide eyed at the someone I couldn’t see but whom I knew was without a doubt hiding in the foliage before me, about to shoot me in the heads again and NOT miss a second time.
“H-hey,” I stuttered out, but it sounded like more of a squeak. “Um…look…whoever you are, just tell me what you want…money, right? P-please don’t k-kill me…”
I waited, the tension I felt growing stronger with every blasted second that lasted several eternities. Nothing – not a sound, or so much as another movement. Why, oh WHY had I neglected to bring my pepper spray. My heart was going ninety miles an hour, just staring at the bush that was hiding my unseen enemy. And then…
Then I caught a glimpse of him. The stranger, whoever he was, slowly peeked through the branches of the bush he was hiding behind and stared back at me. His eyes; I was sure it was a he by what little of his face I could see; were a bright and intelligent blue. But they seemed…wary…maybe even a little scared. That was weird. Wasn’t he the one who had just tried to murder me? Why was HE the scared one?
I was sick of being frozen there staring at the stranger, waiting for him to kill me or not kill me. Impatiently I called out, “Just come out here already. It’s not like I can do anything to you, I’m hopelessly stuck. So if you’re gonna kill me, get out here and make it fast.”
The stranger hesitated a moment. Then the bush branches rustled back into place as he let go of them. He stayed in his hiding place for another few long moments, then slowly stepped out and walked to stand a short distance in front of me.
He was a boy that looked not much older than me. A forest green headband was keeping most of his messy, dark brown hair out of his face. The clothes he was dressed in looked like something out of an ancient time…an ancient place. He looked like a hunter from biblical times, especially with the bow he held loosely in his hand. So he had tried to shoot me with it. Those sharp, curious blue eyes of his watched me the whole time.
“…I don’t want to kill you,” he said, meekly at first. Then, puffing out his muscular chest he said more bravely: “But if you’re a Lamanite spy then that’s a different story!”
I stared at him in utter disbelief. This was like something out of a book I’d read. A warrior from ancient times meets a girl from the present time. My shock was even greater when I realized…I knew what time period he was from. Lamanites…that could only mean one thing.
“You’re…” I said, my jaw dropping, “You’re…a….you’re a Nephite?!”
He looked a little surprised, but that quickly disappeared. “Yes,” he said with a proud smile. Then he scowled. “So you ARE a Lamanite spy! It doesn’t surprise me that they’re sending women now!”
“I am NOT a Lamanite!” I huffed indignantly. “I’m a….a….”
I frowned, discouraged. I didn’t really have any tribal name to give him that he could possibly identify me by, much less know what I was talking about.
“A what?” he demanded.
“I’m a…Mormon,” I said finally. I couldn’t help smiling, pleased with the name I could truthfully label myself as. I had almost said an Aggie, which would have been true as well, but I would have felt extremely stupid saying it out loud. YOU Imagine telling a Nephite about your college mascot.
“A Mormon?...” the Nephite said quizzically. “What’s that? I’ve heard that name before, but that’s not a tribe name…”
“It’s what I am,” I said simply. “And we don’t like the Lamanites either. We’re Christians. Like you.”
He looked considerably more cheerful when he heard the word ‘Christian’, but hesitated.
“…How do I know I can trust you?”
“You’re asking me? You’re the one who tried to shoot me in the head,” I said.
The Nephite slung his bow over his shoulder, looking apologetic. He unsheathed a knife from his belt. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I was trying to shoot a deer. But I’m not a very good shot yet.” He knelt next to me and proceeded to cut at the thorns that were holding me prisoner.
“Obviously,” I said, but more in a teasing tone than an angry one. That explained the terrified buck I had encountered. I muttered an embarrassed ‘thanks’ as he finally got me loose and helped me up.
“It’s nothing,” he nodded awkwardly, sheathing his knife again. “What is your name?”
“Callista,” I said. “You?”
“I’m Himni,” he smiled. I liked how he smiled – it was a confident, yet boyish grin that made his eyes light up. “Do you and your tribe live in this canyon? I haven’t seen anyone hunting here besides me.”
“No,” I answered. “But we pass through here a lot. My…’tribe’ lives all over this area. Our towns surround the whole canyon. “
Himni blinked in surprise at my words. Obviously he hadn’t expected such an answer. I couldn’t really blame him for his shock – I wasn’t sure how big Nephite cities were, but I was pretty sure they didn’t take up so much space that they would surround an entire canyon.
“Truly?” he said. “They must be very powerful…”
I shrugged. “Well, compared to your weapons, ours could destroy an entire…um, never mind.”
He stared at me in confusion but thankfully didn’t push the issue further.
“What is that you were riding on?” he asked, motioning towards my crashed bicycle which was crumpled in a mangled, twisted heap of metal by the base of the same pine tree his arrow had lodged itself in.
“My bike, “ I said with a sigh. “And without it, it looks like I’ll have to walk home.”
Himni frowned seriously. “That would be inadvisable. Gadianton robbers are everywhere, especially uninhabited areas like this. It’s too dangerous for you to go home by yourself.”
I grinned with amusement. He was like the overprotective boyfriend who refused to let his girl go anywhere alone, night or day, without his protection.
“I think I’ll be okay,” I laughed. “Um, Gadianton robbers haven’t been around here for, ah…a very long time. But thanks for the concern.”
The Nephite shuffled his feet nervously, biting his lip. He obviously wasn’t the least bit reassured.
“I really do not feel right about you walking by yourself,” he said uncomfortably. “After all, I am the one responsible for dismantling your…your…?”
“Bike,” I said helpfully.
“Yes, bike, and so it would be the least I could do to escort you home to your family. Besides, my father would be very displeased with me if he heard that I didn’t help a woman in need.”
I had to try my very hardest not to snort with laughter. Were all Nephites this chivalrous? I was about to be ‘escorted’ back to my apartment by my very own knight clad in leather armor with a bow and quiver of arrows slung over his back. The idea was hilarious, yet I couldn’t help but be flattered by his concerned offer.
“…Well,” I said with a grin. “I’d be pretty ungrateful if I didn’t accept your offer to help me. But, ah…how exactly do you plan on getting me home?”
He grinned back at me, like a boy who’s about to show off his most prized baseball card to impress a friend. “Watch!” he said enthusiastically, and then turned with his fingers in his mouth and whistled long and loud.
Nothing happened at first, but I then heard the faint clatter of hooves coming through the undergrowth towards us. A sleek brown stallion with a black mane walked out from behind the bush Himni had been hiding behind earlier and stopped directly in front of its master, snorting and tossing its head. Himni smiled and petted him fondly.
“This is Hakan,” he said proudly. I stared, impressed. This was much better than a baseball card.
He told me to get on first, so I uncertainly tried to jump on the animals’ back. But since there wasn’t any saddle with stirrups to use as footholds, I wasn’t exactly sure how I was supposed to do that.
“Um,” I said stupidly after my third unsuccessful try at getting on the horse. “Little help?”
Himni chuckled, but helped me up so I was securely on the horse. He slid onto Hakan’s back with ease and took hold of his mane. I put my arms around the Nephite from behind, afraid I would fall off once we started moving. Himni clicked his tongue a couple times and Hakan moved forward. It was amazing how he could control the animal without even any reigns.
“Stay alert,” he said to me, looking over his shoulder. “There may be danger lurking anywhere in this canyon.”
“Okay,” I said, but on the inside I was much more wrapped up in the thought of how extremely ridiculous I was going to look to people passing us in their cars, riding horseback down the road with an ancient Nephite warrior.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Wow.
This is really, really good. It's a flawless story, so I really can't write a proper review for this! The characters are well-shaped, even at this early stage. You put in some good description and the dialogue is excellent.
The only concern was that you didn't really finish it off with me wanting more. You tied off the chapter a little TOO neatly; you didn't allow a cliffhanger to dangle in my face.
But other than that, it was beautiful. It's a very creative take on the time-travel idea. I love it.
PM me when you post more.
GRADE: A