this is newly edited so hope you enjoy it.
Brooklyn
“Brooklyn could you please get up, we’re going to be late for the cinemas, the boys are going to beat us!” I had my head buried in the pillows, as I had for the last hour. It was before ten o’clock and no-one gets Brooklyn Phoenix America up before 10 O’clock. Roxie knew that. I lifted my head about 10 centimetres of the pillow and saw Roxie coming at me with a jug of freezing cold water. The next thing I knew I was piss wet through and screaming at the top of my lungs. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and my other best friend Alice entered shouting “WHO THE HELL HAS JUST BEEN KILLED!” then she turned, saw me and collapsed laughing.
I spent the next hour getting ready for the cinemas, we were meeting the boys: Jack, Damon and Jared. I let my bright red hair run wavy past my waist and when I looked in the mirror, I knew I looked good, even if I hadn’t exactly got the Hayley Williams look I was going for, it was still nice. I knew that I stuck out when I was with either Alice or Roxie, since my hair was as red as a flame, and theirs was as black as the midnight sky. The only difference between that part of them that Alice’s was pixie cropped and Roxie’s was long and curly. As we all appeared from the doorway, we linked arms and ran to the cinemas, just to beat the boys.
Roxie
We did beat the boys - hooray, all that running had been worth it!- so they couldn’t gloat at us, but I decided to tease Damon anyway. “Well, no wonder you were late,” I said, skipping past. “It must have took you an hour to sculpt that perfect hair of yours.” Then I obviously fell on my arse for my trouble. I never really was any good in high heels.
We were watching the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie, and to our amazement, the screen room was empty! I mean there was just the six of us messing about (mostly screaming at the top of our lungs) and Alice and Brooke singing sexy chick as loud as they could. There was also a little bit of provocative dancing going on, which the boys were enjoying immensely, of course, and I saw Damon staring at Brooke especially intensely…
After we came out of the screen me, Alice and Brooke all went into the toilets, cos girl rule number one states: never let a mate go to the loo on her own. While Brooke was still in, Alice and I were waiting outside when I heard Alice go “ Why is
Damon giving Brooke his mobile number - she has it.” Then “EWWWWW, why is Damon kissing Brooke” my head quickly turned towards the direction Alice was looking “Alice that isn’t Brooklyn, that’s Sydney…her twin...” we were gob smacked, it didn’t help our feelings much that we were all sure Brooke had a crush on Damon for ages - this wasn’t going to end well…
we was having a sleepover that night at Alices flat. we got out the sleeping bags. we was half way through the night, i was reading and Alice and Brooklyn were asleep after being slightly drunk. Brooklyn and Damon were not on speaking terms and everyone was backing up Brooke. She was mad at him for going out with Sydney because she had ruined her childhood, she was always the best child and she stole everything of brooke, even boyfriends! i was in deep thought when i heard a scream then Brooke going "Oh my god, why am i not dead?" i turned to her and went " maybe.. cos your alive?" she looked confused, even though i couldnt see her face in the nights darkness " but he killed me, Freddy, with his claw things." Brooke could be so strange sumtimes, at thoose times its much better to ignore her so i ignored her.
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Quick tip...not the best idea to write a story on the spot, on your Ipod, and then post it right away. I get you might want the edit tips done for you, but please don't. Write the idea down, and then write it at home, or on paper, that way you physically have to either see the spell check , or will be able to correct it as you re-copy it onto your computer.
And also, if you're going to repost something, at least change more than one thing in it, listen to the critics people gave you on the first one, take them in to consideration, and then re-write it, and wait more than thirty minutes to re-post it.
Edit: OH and also, might be nice if you reviewed a few pieces of work as well. Considering you have 11 stories posted, and a total of zero reviews. Its not mandatory, but its a courtesy, return the favors that people do to you, when they review your piece.
oi its hard on the ipod! copying it up on comp tomorra .
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Get the end edited again. The story's good but you're grammar isn't

P.S: Thanks for mentioning I was the one who helped...