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Nothing

by bullhead21


A letter...

A sonnet...

A ballad...

A novel...

An ode...

There is not a way to write

About our Love

Nor are specific words that clarify

The feeling of being in love with you

I could try to paint it,

But these hues lack the vividness

And brightness you bring

To my sublime reality

Sing...there are not highest

Nor deepest notes to expresses

The heights and shallows you take me.

You- you are...

We are... Indescribable.


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35 Reviews


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Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:28 am
winterbites wrote a review...



The first part was really what caught my attention most.
Especially This part
"There is not a way to write

About our Love

Nor are specific words that clarify"

That was quite nice to read.
Continue writing.. If you need anything else I'm always here C:




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121 Reviews


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Reviews: 121

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Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:57 pm
WritingWolf says...



I don't really understand the title. Well, maybe it makes sense, I don't know...

This was a very pretty piece, I like the beginning the most.

It was really a lovely description.

Good job, I hope you continue writing such lovely things!




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54 Reviews


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Sat Feb 23, 2013 6:31 pm
silentpatronus wrote a review...



Howdy there!

I'm going to review this piece! :)

I agree with the others, this would make more sense as a poem. The layout here does not reflect what you're writing and isn't really visibly appealing which it could so easily be.

Firstly, this is really hard to break down. There is only one full stop at the end. I think the use of ellipses is good but perhaps it is used too much.

There is not away to write about our love Nor are specific words that clarify the feeling of being in love with you

This makes no sense, I'm sorry. Why have you got a capital in the middle of a sentence? Why is the 'nor' even there?

But you paint a vivid picture, nice work :)




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27 Reviews


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Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:19 pm
brittbritt12347 says...



I agree with Wherethewindgoes said. It would be a lot better written as a poem :) but you have good descriptive words:D very interesting to read too!




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92 Reviews


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Wed Feb 20, 2013 9:45 pm
Wherethewindgoes wrote a review...



Salutations. Welcome to YWS!
I kind of like this, but I think it would be much better structured as a poem. Perhaps something like

A letter
A sonnet
A ballad
A novel
An ode
There is not away to write
about our love
Nor are specific words that clarify
the feeling of being in love with you
I could try to paint it
but these hues lack the vividness and brightness
you bring to my sublime reality
Sing
there are not highest nor deepest notes
to expresses the heights and shallows you take me
You-
you are
we are
Indescribable.


Besides the formatting, I have a couple corrections or suggestions.

There is not away to write about our love


I think that's a way as two words.

Nor are specific words that clarify


I think that should be "Nor are there specific words".

the heights and shallows you take me


I think that should be "the heights and shallows to which you take me".

Besides that, good job, and good luck with any future poems!




bullhead21 says...


I know I can't write poetry I just write whatever makes sense to me but thanks for your advice



bullhead21 says...


oh crap...this is so stupid but the website changed the format i had typed it in!!



bullhead21 says...


I can't change the format on the website... I don't know why




cron
I like to create sympathy for my characters, then set the monsters loose.
— Stephen King