Published November 18, 2013
As a screen is slid right into place, a birdy makes a sound,
Outside my room, another bird wakes up, and sings to the world around.
A computer screen turns on,says hello, in its electronified way.
A verteran coming home cries hello, to his daughter on this fine day.
My phone screen begins to twirl around, like wind around the trees,
Somewhere in the world, today, trees are blown into the seas.
Someone runs, all digital like, across a sixty inch screen,
In the world, a canary flys, singing and feeling free.
Across the world, technology breaks out,shaping all mankind,
Or is it tying us right down into ourselves, with a hard green spiking vine.
The world dissapears slow and sure, into a cloud of smoke.
We wonder why the ocean and sky, seem to be so provoked.
But alas so soon, as technology comes,the world will dissapear no doubt,
For the trees and birds, give soundless words, as they die away in their last shouts.
Technology rules, it takes over our minds, it's becoming the one that patrols.
Technology does far more than this. Technology? It controls.
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,745 Literary Works • 673,686 Reviews
Hello, I really liked your poem. The title initially got me hooked and I love to read anything concerning technology. The starting and ending were perfect as well. i really liked the way you have described each scene.
My favourite lines were these:
"A computer screen turns on,says hello, in its lectronified way.
A verteran coming home cries hello, to his daughter on this fine day."
Another thing that I liked was the usage of personification. Example being in these lines:
"My phone screen begins to twirl around, like wind around the trees,
Somewhere in the world, today, trees are blown into the seas."
Overall: a very nice and well- written poem.
- Anshira
Thankyou so much
My pleasure
My pleasure
My pleasure
My pleasure
Hey bubbles.
A scary and neatly written thought. It was beautiful how you brought all the inanimate objects to life in the beginning. And I love the transition you made from a pleasant morning scene to a doomsday kind at the end. This was more like the movie matrix in a poem form.
"As I slide the the screen into place", I don't see the need for the second "the".
"A tree is blown into the seas" doesn't sound right to me."trees are blown into the seas"?
But seriously, a very disturbing thought well covered in a poem. I love it!!
-Usero.
hahaha sorry the second the isnt supposed to be there. I thought it deleted, but I guess not. but thankyou so much