Published March 11, 2007
The air alight with flashes and rockets,
Curling tendrils of smoke and shimmering embers,
The sky rippling,
Like a thunderstorm,
But sweet with children's laughter,
The colours vivid with merriment,
Flames dancing, wild and cheerful,
The night flickering and twisting,
Such sounds, so exhilarating,
So daring,
The evening coloured with amazement,
Displays of such brilliance,
That you never tire of just watching,
The fireworks prancing across night-times stage,
Elegant and bold,
Striving to outshine the stars,
To be more striking and memorable than the last,
Vainly attempting to touch the moon,
Such competitiveness echoes their maker.
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141,482 Literary Works • 674,513 Reviews
Nice job with word usage and lines. But I couldn't help but noticing that your punctuation is off. There are so many commas and not enough periods. Other than that, great job I loved your descriptions! Just run through and make sure your not huffing and puffing hitting all of those commas and this should turn out quite wonderful.
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Keep at it!
~Rieda
This characterized good flow and descriptive. Great imagery and the voice is clear and thought-provoking in a way. Good job and keep up the good work!
You've a way of taking childhood memories and pulling them to the front of a reader's mind! Wonderful! Beautiful and descriptive! Keep it up!
Goldie
I like it! You've really summed up bonfire night - well done! I really like the use of the word exhilerating. Keep it up, bkwrm