Published June 8, 2011
I like to eat pizza that's three days old,
Dried up, crusty with a thin layer of mold
Just the way I like it.
When I use the bathroom I never flush the toilet,
I like to see the poop and urine,
Floating together in harmony
Just the way I like it.
I like to pick my nose and wipe
the boogers' on my pillow
Stare at it for hours
until I drift to sleep
Just the way I like it.
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141,471 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
Enjoyed this. You being you is the right way for you, so who's to judge, right?
Your poem has a hint anarchy surrounding it, deliberately kicking what's socially accepted on the shins. Makes me think about the book I'm currently reading (for the second time through.) Fight Club, that has some very disturbing imaging but it works with it's content. So good job.
Wow! That made me laugh!! Very interesting and clever! All i can say!
Hi there!
Okay, so, I'm not too sure what you're trying to achieve with this poem. My guess is that the poem is saying, 'I like the way I am, even thought people think I'm a bit strange.' Was that the intended meaning? I'm not too sure about that. So, what I'm saying is, think about what you're trying to say with the poem. Because after reading it, my reaction to it was, 'um... what?' I guess that's because I couldn't really decipher the meaning (if any) behind this poem, which left me a bit confused.
Other than that, I think that the flow and words of the poem was just fine, they weren't confusing or anything, they also flowed pretty well. You even managed to put in a little bit of rhyme in the beginning. So, the way it's written was all fine.
With the content though, I think that could be improved. The content seemed a bit immature to me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, if written correctly. But I think that you've written it with a more mature tone and I don't think the two mixes well together.
I'd really like to encourage you to think more on what story or message you're trying to tell us at the moment, because I can't seem to discern any significant message from it.
i agree with ignatius, that wuz disturbing. i thought the 1st stanza wuz funny, but the others kinda made me wanna take a shower.
This was... disturbing. I get what you were trying to do, but you don't paint a pretty picture. And your rhyming attempt failed. The first stanza was fine, but then it fell apart, and well, your punctuation was poor, and every first letter was capitalized, not necessary. So, change some things and it might be better. Keep Writing!