Published November 21, 2008
His heary and soul destroyed, and broken
But its his own fault he fell for the token.
She was beauty and he the beast, they were destined to fall
for they were not of this world,...not at all to say the least!
He was faithful and trusting, and his adoration knew no bounds,
But oh how she trampled his heart to dust, now he knows no action that
reqeust his trust.
Thought to be forgoten and was for a while,
He found a new hope and now begins the trial!!!!!
Stay tuned for the next update on my dear fallen angel!!!! this is a neverending
battle
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140,496 Literary Works • 673,252 Reviews
He was faithful and trusting, and his adoration knew no bounds,
But oh how she trampled his heart to dust, now he knows no action that
request his trust.
>who is the fallen angel, anyway?
>it's just so confusing that one can continue loving someone, without even realizing the bitter truth.
>how cruel is the girl, anyway?..
Yeah, this was really well written. I enjoyed the drama that you created and the emotions pouring from it.
Well Done
My only worry is that sometimes, the wording is awkward. If you read this out loud, you'll see what I mean.
A little tweaking here and there will tidy it up.
Otherwise, Keep Writing!
Amazing poem! I especially love the line:
It's such a beautiful, encapturing line! Well done on this poem. Just one thing- spelling lol! It's great other than that
Is it a personale experience? It sounds like something you've experience yourself due to the precise description.
it sounds like it could more more complex
and grammar oh dear!
well done though
the next one - - can't wait
No comment... well maybe this one: Awsome
Have you lived through this, because it's a very accurate description
I really loved it. It was simple and yet still captivating. Wonderful job with linking the words together!! Very nice.
Had to be my favorite part. Really loved the last part though the best ^_^ Please continue with this and let me know when you do update it!!
Haahah reminds me a bit of D.N.Angel or other video games lol nice done keep it up I especially like how you linked the words together. Well done I will wait for the sequel DUN DUN DUN it better live up to my expectations haha jk another thing you might want to be careful of is how space out your writing is.