Its very hard to openly express my life and know that people may view it any moment. im not a priveleged adolescent but rather its opposite. I grew up thirsting for a family that lost me. I hated because thats all my heart would let me do. I have yet to breach all the barriers of my past but i feel as though when i write i release. Oh the feeling i get is such a plain feeling one might think me absurd for cherishing it. the feeling i get that almost brings tears to my eyes is more of a state. Its calm. Not overjoyed or extatic. Just calm. The calm i feel drowns out any emotion that saddens me or tanperswith my anger. i have control and i feel like i never endured any of the things that happened in my past. Now i only need to figure out how to make this calm last.
