When you flew up to Heaven
A part of me went with you too
And that part is gone forever
And it makes me sad and blue
I’m still a little angry
And even a little depressed
And some nights when I’m sleeping
I still don’t get any rest
You are finally at peace
I just have to keep believing
And if I think it enough
I will start finally achieving
But I know one thing
One thing for sure
Life is fast and quick
It is but a blur
I will see you again
I know I will
But the clock keeps on ticking
Time seems to stand still
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
i like this poem as it makes the reader feel like they are the person who has suffered the loss and it helps them to empathise with you.
there is a feeling of sadness throughout which is always a good thing when writing as it is one of the most powerful emotions one can experience but it also shows a certain "glimmer of hope" when it comes to thinking that you will both see each other again which i like.
this is very well written and can not be badly criticized as there is nothing truely bad about it.
the flow of the poem is also very good as it makes you feel comfortable when reading it as the words are simple but complex in the emotions they convey.
you should be very proud of this poem and it should make you want to write more poems which help to express feelings =D
well done
-soul destroyer
Hello! My name is DaNay and I'll review your poem today! (Okay that was cheesy but whatever...)
This line sounds really elementary. I think you would get more emotion in the first stanza if you edited sad and blue.
I think this line would flow better if you took out still.
This stanza I really liked. I think it was a very nice ending. Overall it was a good poem.