Published January 28, 2011
I don't really like this poem, so bear with me and tell me what you think.
The screams echo in my head as I try to control them.
Try to make them go away.
Try to keep them from coming out for all to hear.
I try to keep your name from coming from my lips through the night.
I try to keep my sobs silent so no one hears me in the dark.
I try, but sometimes I can’t help it.
I have to let it all out, so I cut.
It takes the pain away, even just for a few minutes.
It replaces it with something more manageable and scarring.
It replaces it with you, even for just a few minutes.
Sometimes, that’s all I need to control the screams.
Even though it seems, I might go mad, and break my seams.
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140,959 Literary Works • 673,783 Reviews
Thanks! I wasn't sure about this poem, but I'm glad you guys liked it. I only liked it, because it was something I really felt, and am just now getting over it.
I liked this, the title jumped out with me to begin with and I found it a perfect piece of poetry that I personally enjoyed.
It kept me reading but I do think another verse or few could have worked well with it to just tie in more at the end and give that last bit of crowning detail.
I especially liked:
Just wow at the imagery.
Overall a great poem.
Well done!
I think this is quite well-written. I like the way you rhymed seams and screams at the end; it made it seem very final. It's quite emotional without being over the top. It is slightly repetitive so if you want to improve it maybe you could alter some of the beginnings of the lines. But apart from that, it's pretty good.
I liked it. The repetitiousness in the entrance of the lines got a bit dull, but still, this was good.
Seems like something I'D write. Very well done
You portrayed the emotion perfectly!
"Even though it seems, I might go mad, and break my seams."
You don't really need those commas.