Seuls

Why am I always alone? Why does know one want to be near me? Is it because the curse I bear? Or the horrible beast that lays inside me yearning for blood waiting to get out so it can fulfill its needs?

It’s a fact that we are all born alone, even twins. It is also a fact that we die alone even if we are killed at the same time. We as humans are all ways alone; even if we have friends or family members with us we are still alone. Because no one can truly know what it is like to be living your life except the demons that live with us in our mind, soul, and the deepest part of our heart.

I have all ways been alone except for when the voice inside my head decides to make its self known. I do not really know when I started to hear the voices, but what I do know is that they haunt me. They haunt me when I am alone, when I am a sleep, even when I am trying to go to the bathroom. All they tell me to do is cause pain and misery. To cause misery to the ones that hurt me, neglect me, even ones that try to help me. I can’t stop the voices and I can’t control them either. It’s like cancer it won’t go away, wont leave you alone until it has done its job and collected all the life out of you, until it has killed you. You can try to stop it God only knows how many times I have tried but it only gets stronger. It nags and nags at you until you have done what has asked of you, but only if you do it, it wants more.

February 1 3:30 p.m.

My name is Jessica Rose, daughter to John Rose and Joanna Rose. I have long black hair that reaches past my non-existent butt, blue eyes that have a hint of green and really long legs that need to be shaven. The kind of legs (when shaven) women would kill for and make any man follow you home. I am only sixteen and already want to move out and marry a Giant’s baseball player Brian Wilson, but that will never happen because I am a loser. I live with my mother and my father with our Siberian husky Jake in San Francisco. We live in the suburbs in a three story mansion with seven bedrooms and eight bathrooms but when you really have to go pee there all in use. I am an only child and very happy, I never wanted to have a sibling because there too noisy and annoying. I am going to medical school next fall to start my training as a surgeon, I am currently working at my dad’s law firm putting away paper work and keeping his office clean. It’s a shitty job but I get paid a hundred dollars a week which is really good compared to my friends paycheck. Well I have to stop righting Jake needs to be fed and I need to take a shower so bye, bye diary.

February 2 12:17 p.m.

Today is really weird I woke up this morning to the slamming of my bedroom door. I think it might have been Jake running into the door again, stupid freaking Jake allways running into things. Well nothing really cool has happened today except Jake finding a dead bird right in frount of our house again. I really don't know why but alot of weird stuff has been happening lately I have been seeing things. I think it might have to do with all the dugs my parents did when I was a little kid but im not so sure, anyhow I have to go to work so bye diary I will see you later (wink, wink) haha I just love my preverted self.