Published July 12, 2010
This is another poem i wrote that alot of people i asked to read it loved it =)
You always know what to say to melt my heart and when Im mad you make me laugh, your touch just makes me go crazy.
When you look at me I see nothing but love in your eyes..I wouldnt know what to do if anything ever happened to us. I wouldnt be able to live because nothing in my life is more important to me than you.
You are my one and only,my love, and my happiness!!
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Hey there,
This is a good attempt, so you're off to a good start
' You always know what to say to melt my heart and when Im mad you make me laugh, your touch just makes me go crazy. ' - This sounds rushed so I suggest you break it up a little bit by using commas. It would sound a lot better if you used a rhyming scheme to neaten it up.
Also you should work on the layout of your poem, it looks careless.
I hope I helped.. Keep writing ^.^
As far as writting, I like it!
Unfortuantly, as far as poetry, well its not the best. But dont worry!
I think this has much potential!
You wrote it is a paragraph, which isnt to good(in my opinion).
I think once you find the right format, you could do very well!
lol thanks!
I like this poem... Though my only qualm is that I think it would be easier to read as a poem if you separated the sentences, just a thought.
now this is not a quick THROW AWAY note to someone...when you write something like this you dont just throw it away, therefore your basically saying its not even worth reading!
Hey britt.
I have to say, there's nothing here that makes me want to come back.
First, while I can get behind the idea of prose-poetry, here you don't have anything even vaguely resembling it. It reads more like a quick, throwaway note to someone than a proper poem. If you're going to classify something as poetry, make it poetic.
Second, no original content. No images to catch the attention. No substance. You should try expanding more. Show us something that's worth seeing/reading.
Third: presentation is a lot. Good job on fixing the title, but now check out for punctuation. Space after a comma or a period, etc - it makes the text a lot nicer to read, and so less likely to put people off.
Hope this helps.