Published July 12, 2010
I didnt know alot of people who i could show my poem to so i chose all these thousands of people and i hope you like it!
When I look into your eyes I just feel so warm inside you make me feel invincible. Just being so close to you, its like i cant breathe just to know your with me.
I lose control when you hold me tight, I feel so warm with you by my side. Baby I just want you to know I love you and thats all I really know because when your not here I cry myself to sleep hoping tomorrow I can see you again.
You look at me and smile then my heart melts down I dont know whats with me but I know I love you. If you leave me ill die because I cant be without you by my side, I lay in your arms so snug and comfy and I never want this to end.
When I die I want you to know ill always lve you know matter what happens we are invincible!
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,285 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
Nicely done! But at first it was hard to read. The formating of it, like the others said, was kinda off. But once you get that you should do pretty good
Hi there, Britt!
Yuri has a HUGE point here. Right now this so-called poem looks more like a story than poetry. Poetry can be free-verse, but we still use a certain format.
I suggest fixing this into a format (take a look at the other poems, you'll get what I mean), and then you can PM me to review your work.
Have a good day.
-Mizz-
Hello there!
I think you're new. So I just want to say that if you're writing a poem, be sure to do a good format of it.
It seems like this is a story because it's in a paragraph form. So how about separate or chop that paragraph into five or more lines?
Thanks. I'll be glad to review this once you edit this. :3
peace out!
~yuri