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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

perspective

by bridgetavc


That night was the coldest so far; She wanted to cry but that only caused more pain, as the algid air froze the tears on her porcelain white face. The sun was disappearing from sight now; She felt a sense of anguish apprehension rush through her chest as she proceeded to rise from the corner. She haltingly slid the knife from her sheath and wiped the redundant particles from its sharp edge. Her frail arm shook as she rose the blade to the array of dashes carried along the wood panel; It has been six days now, they still haven't returned.


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383 Reviews


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Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:30 pm
Sujana wrote a review...



Hey! You're the one who made me fail my chemistry test!

I promise this one will be shorter than the other, as I have little to work on (mostly because it has no base for me to compare and judge it with; a lot like contemporary poetry, at least according to my experience where I'm from, as everything and anything can go).

If you'd like to know my interpretation, I was under the impression it was about either a) self-harm, or b) an anime ninja girl trapped in the mountains (there are two types of people, and I am both of them). Initially I read the wooden panel as skin, the feeling of being trapped in a marionette, that sort of thing--the people who haven't returned being happiness. The second time is self-explanatory, there's an anime ninja girl counting the days before she gets rescued.

Overall, while I liked it, I think it's more of a conversation piece than a short story. I'll show it off to my friends, like the Dress meme, and ask them "What colour is this?" But there's nothing wrong with that. I like that you have enough creativity to wrap this around other people's heads, and it was vague enough to work. So yeah, good job, and keep up the good work.




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Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:02 am
DamienCyfer wrote a review...



Hey Bridgetavc, this is awesome!!!! I love how you have given such a strong image in my mind, and that you have kept mystery through out the whole piece. People could interpret this in many ways, but I would say this sounds like a person who is injured, stuck somewhere, or lost. People haven't rescued her yet, and she is waiting still. Sorry its so short.

Bye, DamienCyfer




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Mon Nov 30, 2015 7:50 am
FeatherPen wrote a review...



Hi Bridget, thank you for your review on my poem Two Trolls.
As requested I'm l here to review.
This is a very short emotive piece which feels like it is taken from something larger. However I suspect that it is just a single scene because I have a few of them lying around myself.
I like that you can make up a range of stories in your own head with out being told exactly what is going on. I can picture a girl, some where very cold, perhaps in the snow or a prison, who is waiting for something/some one and dying slowly as she does.
Nonetheless Because of its general vagueness and shortness, it doesn’t seem complete in its' self. I can imagine it making a good free write prompt for a short story or being the prologue of a novel. I’d love to see you develop it further.

“She felt a sense of anguish apprehension” might work better as either
“She felt a sense of anguish and apprehension” or
“She felt a sense of anguished apprehension”

I also like the words you have used; algid, proceeded, haltingly, redundant and array.
As it is so short you could use slightly stronger words instead of disappearing, and rush. I like the idea of the sun melting, and anguish and apprehension piecing. (Sorry that is me taking over)

I don’t think I have written a review this long for a piece this short before, I enjoyed reading it. Welcome to YWS and congrats on your fist star already! I eagerly look forward to reading more of your writing.




bridgetavc says...


Thank you so much for the review. I'm not exactly sure what prompted me to write about this but I believe it was mainly just a random work. When posting this I was curious about how people would interpenetrate them; a lot of my work comes out of personal experience, as does this one.

When posting this I added, "perspective" as the title. This was because depending on what you have experienced in your life, you may relate this to a halt. My main inspiration for this piece was depression; I wrote it in a very vague way because in a sense the topic itself is very vague - hidden behind something else, rather. When I said "Her frail arm shook as she rose the blade to the array of dashes carried along the wood panel; It has been six days now, they still haven't returned." In a way I meant feelings of happiness. This subject is a very weird touchy thing to write about and it's hard to express these feelings "strait up"; this is my attempt.
Thank you so much for the review, I hope you read over this reply and have a little more light shed and background.



FerranWright says...


Your welcome, I think it is wonderful that it can be interpreted differentially. Far too much writing just tells it all, leaving no room for the reader%u2019s perspective and your reply did indeed shed more light on it and the background.



FerranWright says...


Your welcome, I think it is wonderful that it can be interpreted differentially. Far too much writing just tells it all, leaving no room for the reader%u2019s perspective and your reply did indeed shed more light on it and the background.



FerranWright says...


Your welcome, I think it is wonderful that it can be interpreted differentially. Far too much writing just tells it all, leaving no room for the reader%u2019s perspective and your reply did indeed shed more light on it and the background.




I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope