Shared love

by breenuttxo
  • December 2, 2008
  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

The moment she let
his car drive away.
The feeling of regret
came to stay.

She knew she should
have done something more.
I kiss goodbye,
as she walked to the door.

Comments & reviews · 3
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breenuttxo Comment
breenuttxo commented · Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:12 pm

THANKS :) Yeah im going to post it soon once I finish editing it.

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anti-pop
Review
anti-pop wrote a review · Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:35 pm

(Hi! I'm anti-pop, and I'm going to point out some little things that should be corrected)


The moment she let

his car drive away, (A comma should be here, not a period)

The feeling of regret

came to stay (Try not to use too many periods in poetry)



She knew she should

have done something more;(Semi-colon)

I kiss goodbye,

as she walked to the door


(Post the whole poem! I'd love to read it! Keep up the good work)


*anti-pop



Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
— Rumi