Why i run

Hello there, Buzz here to review!

I found your poem quite thoughtful and forlorn, it was emotional and clearly expressed. I'm not usually one in favor of rhyme, but in this instance it worked well in your poem. Although your poem is overall good, I do alternatively have some suggestions that may help improve your poem further.

I felt like your formatting was more of a hindrance that an asset in the sense that it got kind of distracting and was slightly interrupting the flow and rhythm of your poem as it created some unnecessary line breaks. I advise you to format your poem in stanzas, I think it would work better in that structure.

I liked the imagery you used in this, but I had a minor issue with your opening and closing lines.

"Running
is my Life Support"

This is okay but I would have preferred, if you had mentioned this towards the end of your poem, as a build up, after the depressing emotions/thoughts you had gone through, this would have been a sort of hope, it could have made it more effective. This links onto my second point, on your closing lines.

"The
only thing that keeps me alive
Is
when I run"

I liked this but, it almost felt unfinished, I wished you went on a bit more as to how running gives you a perhaps sense of freedom you can't get anywhere else or how running is why you still exist or anything that running makes you feel like, and ending along those lines would have been more powerful, in my opinion.


In general, it was a great poem, I hope I was of help to you. Keep writing!

-Buzz

Good work. I read it like twice thinking I had missed out something. Well to me it was a bit shallow. You could have brought up ,few more emotions. Covered a bit more darker grounds which could have made it more intense. Rhyme scheme has definitely worked. Overall a simple effective concept which u have expressed pretty neatly. Keep up your good work.
Cheers.
Usero.!!

That was pretty good but a little drawn out. I like how you tied it up so nicely at the end by repeating a similar phrase to the one stated in the beginning. However, the poem seemed to jump around a little too much. It followed a rather broad depressing theme not so much the specific 'running away from your problems' kinda theme that I thought is was gonna be as outlined by your opening stanza.

As for your format. It's interesting...I just don't see the point. Most poems that do not follow a rhyme scheme or pattern are formatted to look like a shape or get a message across in another way. I didn't see much of that... but you could definitely work on that. You could try making it look like a staircase or something to indicate a form of travel... just have fun with it.

Well, I guess that's all I got. Good luck to you!