There once was a girl who lived in an apple tree. She lived of the apples that the tree made. These apples were unlike any other; they gave her the power to radiate happiness. When the girl would visit the nearby village, anybody she was close to would suddenly become overjoyed.
Some villagers appreciated her power of happiness, but not all of them.
Many people in the village saw this as different. Different, they though, was bad. They felt as if she was forcing happiness upon them. They didn't like it. So they exiled her, and banned people from going near her.
The girl was overcome with sadness, and so was the village. Not even the apples could cheer her up. They lived in grief for many years.
Then one day, a young traveler came across the sorrow-stricken village. Despite what the villagers told the traveler, he went to visit the girl.
The girl was surprise that she had a visitor. The traveler and the girl spent hours talking. The traveler told the girl about the lands he had seen and the amazing creatures he had encounters, The girl told the girl told the traveler of her life and the history of the village.
For the first time in years, the girl was happy. The villagers noticed the change in mood. It was mood. It was nice, much better than the emptiness that previously filled the air.
The head council of villagers came together and debated about the girl that they'd been hating for years. For days they talked about their options, and finally they decided to let the girl come back. For they had realized that different wasn't always bad, and everyone needs happiness at times.
I would like to say that the traveler and the girl lived happily ever after, but the traveler wanted to travel and the girl wanted to stay with the village. Unfortunately, they didn't meet again, but they both were happy they had met.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
129,528 Literary Works • 671,508 Reviews
Hi there!
There were some misspellings apart from that I really really liked the concept of this story it has its Aura, potential and a value but it needs some finish line or an end product that can be found in this story if you had been a little more descriptive about the atmosphere or maybe the feelings of the characters and maybe the depth with in it would've made it a little more good but I am happy that I came across this work because this story has a moral with in it and this story means much more then you've pointed out here. This thing happens with most of people in this world because people are so judging now a days that they can't seem to understand others happiness in front of their point of views and this is all what our society is about. The way you mixed a realistic story with fantasy attracted me a lot, it was like the traveler was her shinning armor and as it is said nothing great in our lives stays for long but it would've been perfect if you had given them a chance in coming years. Great work, Keep writing. Thank you.
Hey! Thanks for pointing out my spelling errors, I really appreciate it. Also I'm glad you saw the moral! I appreciate your feedback.
I thought that the concept was interesting, how a vibrant representation of human joy was outcast by those who found her joy to be wrong. I think you could expand on this because I see great potential for this being an excellent concept for a story. For some helpful points, there were a few misspellings, but that's an easy thing to mess up while typing. I enjoyed it though, and I thought it was cool how the village saw the wrong of their ways and allowed the girl back, be it with her happiness or without. All in all, good job, but next time maybe do a few looks through to revise for some of the errors.
Interesting short, I love the concept and ideas in the story. You should go over the story because there are some miss spelled words and awkward sentences structures. It is a really cute story though it is too bad the traveler and the girl did not see each other ever again. you could write another short where they are meeting eachother again. Soooo concluding thoughts reread your story there is some weird words and phrases but the idea behind your story is great! keep up the great work.