z

Young Writers Society



Slippery Sidewalks and Little Blue Boxes

by boston1533


"Come on Gaffney! Get in the car," I pleaded in an exasperated voice accompanied by a stupid grin that just wouldn't go away.

"No," she said as she turned away. She looked beyond gorgeous in the moonlight that reflected off the wet street. Her blonde hair was dark brown because of the rain and her eyes were shining in the streetlights. The little black dress she had going on was now clinging to her like a second skin and it was begging to be peeled off. Those damn heels weren't helping my cause. Who knew Julie "the cat" Gaffney could clean up so well. Thank God she was mine.

"Julie Elizabeth Gaffney, it's raining. Please, for the love of God, get in the car," she was so damn stubborn. I had a full on smirk on my face when she turned around and put a hand on her now thrown out hip. A small chuckle escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"I hate you," she said. Her mouth was set in a firm line and there was that fire in her eyes that she got when confronted with a challenge. That's exactly what she was too, a challenge. That's why we always worked out so well, we were complete opposites. She's soft, I'm hard. I'm unorganized, she's a clean freak. She can cook, I'm dangerous in any room vaguely resembling a kitchen. I'm a shooter, she's a goalie. Perfect opposites, perfect together. Now that I had thought about it, a forward and a goalie being together is like breaking some fundamental scientific theory, or like breaking the law of gravity. It was so wrong that it was beyond right. It was what I lived for. She was everything to me.

Eden Hall wasn’t something I had been looking forward to. I mean come on, a bunch of stuck up rich kids who think they’re better than you? No thanks. Now I think that it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

I didn’t want to be like those kids so I wasn’t. I was a Duck. I had been a Duck since District 5 and now look at me; drafted right out of high school as the Boston Bruins starting center with a ridiculous salary and the most beautiful, wonderful, infuriating, stubborn, hard headed, amazing girlfriend. Yep, life was good for this kid.

"No you don't," I said with my puppy dog smile that she couldn't resist. Her shoulders started slouching a little and her eyes were getting softer. I couldn't stop the laughter that came when I saw her start walking toward the car. She realized what she was doing and stomped her 5 inch heeled foot.

"Adam Joseph Banks,” she said coming back at me with the use of full names. “You are sleeping on the couch tonight!” I outright laughed at her.

“We have to get home for that to happen, Cat Lady,” I said.

“I’m not going,” she said and started walking away. I threw my hands up off the steering wheel and got out to run after her.

“Julie!” I called, she ignored me. “Jules come on, let’s go home.” I said as I caught up to her.

“No,” she said turning around to face me. I didn’t know she was going to stop and ended up almost crashing into her. I stopped just in time but slipped on the wet sidewalk and fell flat on my ass. Immediately, her hand went to her mouth to cover her laughter. I pretended to scowl at her but instead reached my hand into my pocket to grab the little blue box.

“Are you done making fun of me goalie?” I asked with a sad look on my face. Her eyes softened completely and she nodded. I scrunched my eyebrows together when I heard a few giggles still escaping her lips.

“Yes,” she said.

“Good,” I answered. Then she remembered that she was mad at me. “Look, baby, I’m sorry. I know you wanted me to be there for Christmas but you know I have a game the day after.” She looked away and crossed her arms over her chest but she didn’t say anything so I took that as an invitation to continue. “Coach is making us fly out two days early to get used to the altitude. You know I’d rather be with you.” Her stance was still defensive but it was getting weaker. “Ugh! Julie, you aren’t making this easy on me!” This got her attention.

Her head whipped down so fast that her hair went into her face and got stuck because it was still pouring. I couldn’t help it when I licked my lips.

“Easy on YOU!?” She practically accused. “Adam, you’re missing CHRISTMAS. You know what that is right? That holiday that comes around once a year where everyone gets together and opens presents.”

“I know what Christmas is Jules,” I said.

“Adam, we’ve been together what!? Since freshman year? Adam 6 years, 6 years and I have yet to spend a Christmas with you.”

“I’m sorry,” I said starting to feel guilty.

“You should be.” She said defeated. “You promised.” I couldn’t tell if the drops of water on her cheeks were from the rain or not. I didn’t think they were.

“Julie, you know I love you right?” I asked, moving to at least sit up on the soaked sidewalk.

“Yes,” she said quietly not looking at me. I started to get up a little more.

“You know that I’d do anything for you, give up anything if it meant a life with you, right?” I asked. She looked down with a question in her eyes.

“Yes,” she replied even quieter then before.

“If you want me to quit, want me to stay home. I will. You know that right?” She didn’t answer this time. “Baby look at me,” I begged. Her eyes came down to meet mine. I looked up into the face of the girl I had grown up with, beat up, shot against, teased, laughed, and played with. I looked at the girl I had been in love with since Mr. Tibbles introduced us before the Junior Goodwill games.

“I don’t want you to quit,” she said. I gave her a small smile.

“Come with me?” I said.

“What?” She asked suddenly shocked.

“Come to Colorado with me. We’ll have Christmas there.” I wanted her too so badly. She wasn’t the only one who spent all those Christmas’s wishing she was there next to me when I woke up. In fact, I wanted to wake up next to her every single day for the rest of my life.

“Adam come on, be serious.” She crossed her arms again and I grabbed onto her hands to make her open to what I was going to do.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life Julie,” I said.

“Only wives go Adam. I won’t be welcome and you know that.” I exhaled loudly. Just do it Banks!

“Then be my wife,” I practically whispered. Her gaze came back down to mine.

“What?” She asked in disbelief.

“I might as well do this while I’m down here. Julie, I love you so much. You mean absolutely everything to me. I’m going to completely embarrass myself when I tell you that I have been in love with you since I saw you on the ice before the Junior Goodwill games. I was a complete wreck whenever you went back to Maine on vacation… seriously, I literally cried. Ask Charlie it was ridiculous…” I was rambling.

“Adam,” she asked with what I knew for sure were tears in her eyes. I pulled out the box and when I opened it to reveal the Tiffany’s ring she told Connie about, her dream engagement ring, her hand went back to cover her mouth. Straight from Connie’s report, white gold, princess cut diamond with both our names engraved in the band.

“Anyway,” I said and she choked out a small laugh at my inability to do this. “Please Jules, be my wife. Will you marry me?” She only nodded and I smiled as I slid the ring on her finger, perfect. I stood up and pulled her body as close to mine as possible. Her hands went around my neck and I held my fiancé in my arms in the rainy moonlight of the Boston night.

“I love you,” she said before her mouth crashed into mine. I kissed her back and lifted her off the ground. She laughed and I put her down. The ring glittered when she ran her hands through her soaked hair.

“I love you and I love you even more in the rain,” I said. She looked down at herself and blushed my favorite color red.

“Adam!” She said and slapped my arm playfully. Yeah we had been together forever and we still flirted. I laughed and pulled her back to me.

“I love you so much,” I said.

“I love you too but baby…” she said and I looked down at her. “You’re still sleeping on the couch?”

“What?!” I asked in disbelief but before I could get another word out she had grabbed the keys out of my pocket and ran laughing back to the car.

“Aw, come on Gaffney!” I said, pulling on the door without result. She just smiled and unlocked the door for me.


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29 Reviews


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Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:17 pm
cheez_burger wrote a review...



I really liked it! Very descriptive and wonderful plot! I look foreward to more of your work!












~Cheez_Burger~




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Thu Feb 18, 2010 1:51 am
GoldenQuill wrote a review...



Hay, it's Aushy here. :}

Nitpicks

boston1533 wrote:"Come on Gaffney! Get in the car," I pleaded in an exasperated voice accompanied by a stupid grin that just wouldn't go away.

"No," she said as she turned away. She looked beyond gorgeous in the moonlight that reflected off the wet street. Her blonde hair was dark brown because of the rain and her eyes were shining in the streetlights. The little black dress she had going on was now clinging to her like a second skin and it was begging to be peeled off. Those damn heels weren't helping my cause. Who knew Julie "the cat" Gaffney could clean up so well. Thank God she was mine.

"Julie Elizabeth Gaffney, it's raining. Please, for the love of God, get in the car." She was so damn stubborn. I had a full on smirk on my face when she turned around and put a hand on her now thrown out hip. A small chuckle escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"I hate you," she said. Her mouth was set in a firm line and there was that fire in her eyes that she got when confronted with a challenge. That's exactly what she was too, a challenge. That's why we always worked out so well, we were complete opposites. She's soft, I'm hard. I'm unorganized, she's a clean freak. She can cook, I'm dangerous in any room vaguely resembling a kitchen. I'm a shooter, she's a goalie. Perfect opposites, perfect together. Now that I had thought about it, a forward and a goalie being together is like breaking some fundamental scientific theory, or like breaking the law of gravity. It was so wrong that it was beyond right. It was what I lived for. She was everything to me.

Eden Hall wasn’t something I had been looking forward to. I mean come on, a bunch of stuck up rich kids who think they’re better than you? No thanks. Now I think that it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

I didn’t want to be like those kids so I wasn’t. I was a Duck. I had been a Duck since District 5 and now look at me; drafted right out of high school as the Boston Bruins starting center with a ridiculous salary and the most beautiful, wonderful, infuriating, stubborn, hard headed, amazing girlfriend. Yep, life was good for this kid.

"No you don't," I said with my puppy dog smile that she couldn't resist. Her shoulders started slouching a little and her eyes were getting softer. I couldn't stop the laughter that came when I saw her start walking toward the car. She realized what she was doing and stomped her 5 inch heeled foot.

"Adam Joseph Banks,” she said coming back at me with the use of full names. “You are sleeping on the couch tonight!” I outright laughed at her.

“We have to get home for that to happen, Cat Lady,” I said.

“I’m not going,” she said and started walking away. I threw my hands up off the steering wheel and got out to run after her.

“Julie!” I called, she ignored me. “Jules come on, let’s go home.” I said as I caught up to her.

“No,” she said turning around to face me. I didn’t know she was going to stop and ended up almost crashing into her. I stopped just in time but slipped on the wet sidewalk and fell flat on my ass. Immediately, her hand went to her mouth to cover her laughter. I pretended to scowl at her but instead reached my hand into my pocket to grab the little blue box.

“Are you done making fun of me, goalie?” I asked with a sad look on my face. Her eyes softened completely and she nodded. I scrunched my eyebrows together when I heard a few giggles still escaping her lips.

“Yes,” she said.

“Good,” I answered. Then she remembered that she was mad at me. “Look, baby, I’m sorry. I know you wanted me to be there for Christmas but you know I have a game the day after.” She looked away and crossed her arms over her chest but she didn’t say anything so I took that as an invitation to continue. “Coach is making us fly out two days early to get used to the altitude. You know I’d rather be with you.” Her stance was still defensive but it was getting weaker. “Ugh! Julie, you aren’t making this easy on me!” This got her attention.

Her head whipped down so fast that her hair went into her face and got stuck because it was still pouring. I couldn’t help it when I licked my lips.

“Easy on YOU(no exclamination point. It's obvious she's screaming. And it's not pretty. D;)?” she practically accused. “Adam, you’re missing CHRISTMAS. You know what that is, right? That holiday that comes around once a year where everyone gets together and opens presents.”

“I know what Christmas is, Jules,” I said.

“Adam, we’ve been together what!? Since freshman year? Adam 6six years, 6six years and I have yet to spend a Christmas with you.”

“I’m sorry,” I said starting to feel guilty.

“You should be,she said, defeated. “You promised.” I couldn’t tell if the drops of water on her cheeks were from the rain or not. I didn’t think they were.

“Julie, you know I love you, right?” I asked, moving to at least sit up on the soaked sidewalk.

“Yes,” she said quietly, not looking at me. I started to get up a little more.

“You know that I’d do anything for you, give up anything if it meant a life with you, right?” I asked. She looked down with a question in her eyes.

“Yes,” she replied even quieter then before.

“If you want me to quit, want me to stay home. I will. You know that, right?” She didn’t answer this time. “Baby look at me,” I begged. Her eyes came down to meet mine. I looked up into the face of the girl I had grown up with, beat up, shot against, teased, laughed, and played with. I looked at the girl I had been in love with since Mr. Tibbles introduced us before the Junior Goodwill games.

“I don’t want you to quit,” she said. I gave her a small smile.

“Come with me?” I said.

“What?” She asked suddenly shocked.

“Come to Colorado with me. We’ll have Christmas there.” I wanted her tooso badly. She wasn’t the only one who spent all those Christmas’s wishing she was there next to me when I woke up. In fact, I wanted to wake up next to her every single day for the rest of my life.

“Adam, come on, be serious.” She crossed her arms again and I grabbed onto her hands to make her open to what I was going to do.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life Julie,” I said.

“Only wives go Adam. I won’t be welcome and you know that.” I exhaled loudly. Just do it Banks!

“Then be my wife,” I practically whispered. Her gaze came back down to mine.

“What?” she asked in disbelief.

“I might as well do this while I’m down here. Julie, I love you so much. You mean absolutely everything to me. I’m going to completely embarrass myself when I tell you that I have been in love with you since I saw you on the ice before the Junior Goodwill games. I was a complete wreck whenever you went back to Maine on vacation… seriously, I literally cried. Ask Charlie, it was ridiculous…” I was rambling.

“Adam,” she asked with what I knew for sure were tears in her eyes. I pulled out the box and when I opened it to reveal the Tiffany’s ring she told Connie about, her dream engagement ring, her hand went back to cover her mouth. Straight from Connie’s report, white gold, princess cut diamond with both our names engraved in the band.

“Anyway,” I said and she choked out a small laugh at my inability to do this. “Please Jules, be my wife. Will you marry me?” She only nodded and I smiled as I slid the ring on her finger, perfect. I stood up and pulled her body as close to mine as possible. Her hands went around my neck and I held my fiancé in my arms in the rainy moonlight of the Boston night.

“I love you,” she said before her mouth crashed into mine. I kissed her back and lifted her off the ground. She laughed and I put her down. The ring glittered when she ran her hands through her soaked hair.

“I love you and I love you even more in the rain,” I said. She looked down at herself and blushed my favorite color red.

“Adam!” She said and slapped my arm playfully. Yeah we had been together forever and we still flirted. I laughed and pulled her back to me.

“I love you so much,” I said.

“I love you too but baby…” she said and I looked down at her. “You’re still sleeping on the couch?”

“What?!” I asked in disbelief but before I could get another word out she had grabbed the keys out of my pocket and ran laughing back to the car.

“Aw, come on Gaffney!” I said, pulling on the door without result. She just smiled and unlocked the door for me.


Overall
Wow, that was fantastic! Alls you have to do is work on comma placement. Other than that, fantastic! I loved it! :}

PM me or visit my Tropical Shack (by clicking 'Review' in my signature) if you ever want a review!

Love & Blessings,
Aushy





ask not what u can do for ur bones but of what ur bones can do for u
— Carina