Published March 18, 2011
Hi bookcutie here! I wrote this poem the other night and thought i would post it. Now i am not sure if this is my best work but i really wanted to express my feelings about a relationship i have with a good guy and i thought poetry was a good way to show it! So here it goes i hope you enjoy it!
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141,408 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
I loves this! It really seemed to flow. You do a really good job with your endings. They always seem to sum it all up and give the whole poem a big impression! I hope I see more of your works!
Short and sweet, bookcutie.
...
That username is really sweet.
I don't have a lot to say - is that okay? It rhymes without breaking a sweat, but I do feel a teeny bit uncomfy with the line 'Everyday we say hi as he gives me that clever smile'. It sounds a little better if you change it to 'Everyday we say hi, then he gives me that clever smile,' but you are the poet.
As for the subject in itself, then again, the shortness of the poem fails to truly bring across the meaning. You've kept the reason for why you think the person and her... friend (ha ha) might be more than just acquaintances, to within one line.
Or ignore what I said there. I'm just being mean. It was a really nice poem.
- Alex
P.S. I'm new here. This is my first review, actually - do you mind if I friend you?